So we are up to the weekend of the 12th/13th of November (erm 2011 I think, yeah pretty sure it was). There was nothing on, couldn’t find a single club or gig I wanted to go to, oh. What to do then?

Saturday got up, bathed saved, noodled around, surfed the web, re-laced a corset (I’d bought a new one of ebay recently but didn’t like how it was laced when it came), tried on some outfits and oh, its getting towards 4 O’clock and the sun is going in, where had the day gone?

Threw on some clothes and did a minimal makeup job (mostly just tinted moisturiser and powder, dab of mascara) and went to get the tube. Tubed it to Covent Garden, oh huge queues for the lifts, no problem I’ll take the stairs, do me some good. There’s a 193 steps at Covent garden, they say its like a 15 story building (small stories), I was glowing a touch when a got to the top.

Got some spare tights in M&S opposite the tube station and had a wander around, usual places, H&M (bought a cheap skirt for next week), Mac, Rocket Vintage, Forbidden Planet etc, got a book there, new Neal Asher. “The Depature” is in a new setting compared to the rest of Mr Asher’s Polity books, pretty good over all, but not a must read, think he wanted to write something more in the style of his earlier agent Cormack books, also his politics come over quite a bit, unlike a lot of UK Sci fi authors he’s far more right wing

Back to the shopping, make my way through towards Leicester square, China town and into Soho. Stop in a little lingerie shop on Old Compton street for just a look around, but end up buying some wet look lycra gloves and tights, they where not cheap, but actually, for a change, they fit properly. Woman serving in the shop was friendly and helpful.

Also stop in Anne Summers for a whip! They where doing a black PVC bullwhip as part of there “S&M” range, bought it for fun and a prop for photo’s, its much better than the fancy dress shop one that I painted black and you can actually crack it a bit Anne Summer staff where all smiles.

Wandered up through Soho to Oxford street and wander down, shinny party dresses are very much in season, spot some great ones in Top Shop, but oh they do cost a bit and I don’t really have that many parties to go to, so no sale.

End up walking all the way to Marble Arch, it’s cold and very dark by now and I’m hungry. Had picked up a few things on the way, tried to get a very cheap black suit jacket in Primark, failed, all sold out (picked one up mid week from another store instead), but did get some more tights, saw a girl in denim shorts and black tights with stars on them on Oxford Street (shorts in November!), she looked awesome, so I had to have a pair of tights like that (but I won’t look as awesome).

Hungry, what do I want to eat, hrm, Rice, that’s want I want, Wagamama’s veggie fried rice rice, and a beer. Where’s the nearest one, erm Soho, oh. Walk all the way back

Wagamama’s Lexington street was rammed , hadn’t seen it this busy for ages, had to queue before a seat was available. Rice and beer hit the spot. Head home after that, via the super market.

A fairly ordinary day really, was treated mostly nicely, got a few looks, but not many, can’t really complain. Sunday, more noodleing, I can noodle with the best of them.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, was work and getting outfits together, a big weekend was planned.

Friday, had the day of work, so I could erm, go to work. Er that’s a bit complicated, so I’ll explain. A call for volunteers had gone out on a couple of TG forums I follow a few weeks ago. They where looking for T-Girls to work behind a T-Girl theme bar at the Erotica Exhibition. Erotica is an annual trade show held at the Olympia exhibition centre in London, with an, unsurprisingly, Erotic theme, I hadn’t been but assumed it would be trade stands selling lingerie and stuff and they had shows and demo’s etc. I was in to minds for a bit, the chance to actually work in Helena mode was appealing, but the show was a bit tacky and I though it might give negative connotations on the whole TG thing, its not all about sex, in fact it my case its not at all about sex (cause nobody I fancy will sleep with me).

But in the end I put my name forward. After a lot of emails flying about we had a plan, about 20 odd girls had volunteered, a uniform had been decided (White blouse, black skirt, black shoes) and a rota drawn up. I was down for the first shift 11-4 on Friday.

Thursday night I was a “bit” nervous, I would have to deal people as Helena, T-Girl, nicely too, and I’m not really a people person, plus I would have to work in a bar, pull pints, mix drinks, work the till etc, I’d never done anything like that before.

I was up early on Friday and got ready in plenty of time.

That was my uniform, the skirt was very short and tight, barely more than a wide belt of black Lycra (£3.99 from H&M), the tights almost invisible, that’s a lot of leg, but I suppose they are my best assets (but they spent most the day behind abar). We where allowed to “spice” up our uniforms a bit since it was “Erotica”, a lot of the other went for leather mini’s but I went for lycra, cause I think its sexy, but also its actually very comfortable too. Shoes had moderate heels and aren’t that pretty, I’d thought about wearing higher nicer looking ones, but I knew I would be on my feet a lot, so the sensible ones one, I had flats in my bag in case even those became to much too. After I took the picture I realised I didn’t like my like my lip stick colour, it didn’t go.

Put my jacket and coat on, changed into my flats, packed my lunch (we where encouraged to bring our own, cause food prices at trade shows is mad, captive audience etc), my shoes

Got the Overground to Olympia (useful that new line) in the tail end of the rush hour, with the rest of the commuters, all of us with our heads buried in Metro, hey this is almost really going to work (I’ve started taking the Overground on work days a lot more recently).

Got to Olympia at 10 past 10, bit early for my shift, so get a coffee at Costa near by, big queue in Costa and the coffee didn’t help my nerves.

Showed my pass and got in the staff entrance and reported to the exhibition office as instructed, only to be told to just go to the bar.

The bar was a temporary construction (white MDF with a red bar top) built just for the show, on the upper level, a bit out of the way, but almost opposite the LGBT stage which promised shows later. The bar had beer pumps, fridges, tills and things to hold bottles of spirits and the usual bar stuff, and in big letters “T-Girl Bar” . This was really happening, gulp.

Let my self into the bar (it had a little room to the side where they stored the beer barrels etc and we could leave our stuff) and introduced myself to the other girls. 10 people turned up for the first shift inc me, one couldn’t make it because of family illness, two where on “Walkaround” duty to promote the bar and so that left 9 of us working it. There was Andrea, who was coordinating the whole thing, Holly our shift leader (she had some bar experience), Sue and Stella, who I’d met before and Andrea, Eve and the erm others who memory like a sieve can’t give names to, sorry girls There was also some regular CIS Gendered experienced bar staff there to, led by Carol, who was in charge, 2 20 something girls and later a young man.

After an intro had a quick pop to the loo to change shoes, brush hair, check makeup etc then back to the bar, photo call

The bar wasn’t quite finished and ready though, so let’s get to work. Had to get out soft drinks, unpack wine, put out glasses (all plastic) under the bar, filling up the till with the float and generally muck in to get it ready for the 11am opening, whilst getting a crash course in pouring pints (there’s a bit of a trick to it) and working the till. Was a bit chaotic at times. Got rather warm doing this, had been told it got cold early in the morning and to bring a jacket or something (hence my expedition to get one last week), didn’t need that after all that work, was well warmed up.

We weren’t quite ready for the 11 opening (and we never got any cocktail sticks, had to fish out lemon slices from the pot with a straw) but well it didn’t really matter, there wasn’t a huge rush of visitors. Oh. In fact I don’t think we served any drinks till nearly 12 And the customer service early on wasn’t great, I hadn’t quite mastered the beer pumps and they come out all foamy (half’s where harder than pints for some reason too) and there where complications on the tills where people had left transactions half finished on the till when other people started entering there sales and so on. But we started to get it together, and the customers started to come.

But trade wasn’t that great till later on, so tried to work it a bit, tried to make eye contact, smile and ask people if they wanted a drink when they walked by, it worked, now and then. Chatted a bit with the other girls and the regular staff to, not sure what they thought about being put in this T-Girl bar but I think they warmed to us (well maybe not the young man, he kept himself to himself a bit). I didn’t really talk to the customers much, just the usually pleasantries, but others more chatty than me did quite a bit, some where curious. Once of the aims of the bar (other than to sell drinks and make money I guess) was to introduce T-Girls to the public (we are rare, few people have seen one us in public, fewer still have spoken to one), interact and try and win them over a bit, a sort of tranny PR job. Think we might of made a positive impact, but not always, more than once I got “Thanks Mate” as I gave someone (always a “geezer” type man) there change and got a couple of comments when I wandered around, as usual, I just carried on.

Did a bit of people watching in-between customers to, unusual mix of people at the show, there was, as expected a few slightly dishevelled single men who where “possibly” there for a perve, groups of lads and geezers who almost certainly where there to ogle the pretty girls, but there where quite a lot of couples (often middle aged and slightly oddly dressed) single women, gay and lesbian couples, T-girls not working the bar and so on. Plus there was quite a few show workers wandering about, mostly promo girls, you know pretty bottle blonde 20 something’s in tight outfits who smile and hand out leaflets, they would probably be at World of Plumbing next week. A few people dressed up a bit for the occasion to, certainly plenty of leather mini skirts about plus some in latex and so on. A few of the performers from the shows turned up, we had the Dream boys and the Drag queens from the LGBT show at the bar as well.

Got a bit better at pulling pints later on, found the secret was do it quickly, don’t give them time to get foamy, may of gone to far though, some of my pints might of come out flat? (Though I’ve been told by people they like them all beer and no head). I like to work and be busy so concentrated on server the customers, practically grabbing them when they approached the bar, left the chatting to the ones with the social skills. Think I did OK though and must have personally rung a couple of hundred quid though the till.

What’s the time? Erm gone 2, time had flown I hadn’t realised, hadn’t eaten either I’d only had a coffee and a bite at home before I left all day , think I was running of nervous energy. So in a lull at the bar I take my break, freshen up in the loo’s, go to the photo booth (they had organised it so we could all have our pic taken in the booth, I haven’t seen the pics yet though) little wander around the show (bought a cake) and went to have my packed lunch (pasta salad, nice but a bit to much olive oil). Had lunch with Sue and gave her the cake, well it was here birthday. Couldn’t of done with a glass of wine or a beer to go with the food, had to make do with a soft drink, drinking alcohol on duty was forbidden.

Finish the rest of the shift, with it steadily getting busier; catch one of the shows on the LGBT stage opposite too.

Don’t rush off at 4, the other shift had to get up to speed, so continue to pull pints for a bit while they have there training, but by half past we’ve handed over and I’m free But I’m not sure I want to go honestly, it had been such an experience to work in Helena mode and to interact with regular members of the public as an out T-Girl, not my usual head down walk quickly type shopping trip.

But I’m a bit tired, so compromise, let’s just have a last wander around the show before going home. Its about know I realise how much feet hurt, my heels where mild, but apart from 10 minutes eating my lunch I’d been on my feet since 10:30, yikes. But I was determined not to give in and change to flats just yet, so keep them on and have a little strut around the show.

Most of the show is on the ground floor and its not huge, cover it all in half an hour, glad I didn’t have to pay to get in There are quite a few stalls selling interesting stuff though, see some very nice corsets on a couple of stands, but end up on one selling fetishy shoes and boots. What sizes do they come in? up to size 13 smiles the man working there (ah so they are covering the tranny market then :)) oh good, can I try them in a 9?

They where simple black PVC knee length boots with a 6″ heel and a platform, I’d been looking for a pair to go with a particular outfit I was putting together. They fit surprisingly well, are almost comfortable, oh, I like these, I’ll have them

Continue around the show for a bit, before returning to the bar to pick up my coat and say me goodbyes and offer to come back next day if they need me.

One with my coat and off out the show to the station and the train home. It’s past six when the train approaches my station, and it occurs to me I would be taking this same (well a similar one) train home from work about now, if it was a regular Friday, in Ian mode, but here I was, in Helena mode, commuting home in the rush hour, in a mini skirt. Food for thought. In all it had been a unique and rather wonderful experience, work, proper work, in Helena mode. I want to do it again.

Got home and flopped into my arm chair. OMG I’m exhausted, didn’t realise it till them, it’s drained me totally, clean up and change into my slobs and dressing gown. Can’t even be bother to cook (OK microwave a ready meal) and order a pizza instead. I only order pizza when I really really tired, I normally have enough strength to resist its cheesy carbohydrate, fat and calorie filled charms. Crawl into bed at 9pm.

And don’t get out till 11am the next day. Part of me wanted to back to Olympia, I’m sure they could of used me, but no, I’m still tired. I also had plans for Saturday.

Plans where, photo shoot then go to the Erotica Winter Ball in Vauxhall, my payment for my work at the show was a free ticket to the ball and I wanted to go. I had a few outfits prepared, but was mostly sold on my shinny black lycra catsuit with PVC corset, thigh boots and gloves, like this. But since I’d got the other outfits ready, I was going to stay in a photograph them.

Get ready slowly, I’m still tired and change into the first outfit

It’s the “Silk Spectre” from “Watchmen” , well the movie version not the original comic, well a fancy dress shop version of the movie version. The fancy dress shop version is lycra, the move version was latex and had a corset and other extras, but on the plus side it was size Small, yey I fitted into a Small, but then it was lycra and the reviews of it had mentioned the sizing is very generous, so not so great an achievement, if you are thin go for the extra small. I’d wore it with those boots I got at Erotica, the gloves I got in Soho and a cheap fancy dress shop grade (i.e. a bit nasty) straight brown wig. I tried to control the curves with tight control knickers underneath to hold my tummy in and hip padding to bulk up that area, but it doesn’t quite work, I still look fat.

I wanted to get more pictures, I wasn’t happy with the ones I got, the above is the best of a bad bunch, but the belt broke as I leant over The belt is soft silver painted rubber I think, well the front bit was, round the back it was a strip of Velcro, I done it up as tight as could, to tight, the Velcro was stitched to the rubber and I tore those stitches out Fat bastard. Still I like the outfit, it needs a little more work and perhaps better wig (and some repairs :() but I want to wear it again, perhaps if they do the Sci Fi London parade again in 2012?

2nd outfit

This is a sort of remake of this one but with a new dress. I’d wanted a new sweet Lolita dress as my other pink one always was always a marginal fit, I only just got in it, especially around the chest (not the waist!) there was not much room for boobs and wasn’t that comfortable. I search a month or so ago for a new one that would a) fit, and b) look very Kawaii In the end I it came down to two on Milanno (quality is poor, but fit and price is acceptable), and I couldn’t choose. So I bought both, the above is one of them.

Accessorised with petticoats (to many actually) white gothic lace arm warmers, with pink satin wrist bands and white gloves (should be pink really) and a little pink fascinator I got in Camden that I added some more ribbons and flowers to.

Think it’s a nice outfit, it may make it to a fetish club one day, but perhaps with more comfortable shoes, those ones hurt even after half an hour. I’m on the lookout for a pair of white gothic Lolita boots to go with it, there’s lots of these about on the net, but not many that would fit big foot here.

As I’ve said before, these photo shoots are quite hard work, that plus my general run down state had left me drained, I even had another outfit to shoot, a burlesque one, but didn’t have the energy to put it on and take more pics, so I disrobed, had a little food and a lie down.

Didn’t feel up to going to the ball now, esp as it was in Vauxhall (same place as Antichrist), and the Victoria line wasn’t running that weekend (it would have been 2 buses and a tube to get there and a long trek on 2 night buses to get home) plus I would be in 6″ heels and a corset all night. And it was cold.

In there end I took the make up off and had an early night.

And another long lie in on Sunday. Didn’t do much on Sunday either.

Have to go back to regular work on Monday in Ian mode, no mini skirts this time. I really don’t think they cope with Helena, don’t think I could either.

Had some good new in the week, got accepted for the final Beta Weekend of Star Wars - The Old Republic, a new MMORPG being developed by Bioware. I Heart Biowear’s games, Star Wars and MMORPG, so it was an email full of win. But it was a stress test and they where having 3 and a half bazillion people in the beta. I was due to start 4pm Friday.

So Friday, oh, I’ve got a little bit of a cough, cough cough, better not go into work and give it to everybody, so worked from home, precaution, nothing to do with SWTOR at all, no Sir Actually was quite busy, but got enough done so I could down tools and start playing at 4pm.

I stopped playing at 1:30am…. OMFG. Ok the game is good, not perfect, but good, but it does have that, just get to the next level thing you get in RPG’s. I played a Bounty Hunter (there’s a chose of classes, you can be a Jedi or a Sith but hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster ), sort of like Boba Fett, if he was actually a cute Asian girl under that helmet (you can customise you character a bit, but its not as extensive as other games). The game is heavily story based, instead of getting some text saying go kill 10 rats and I’ll give you a rusty sword type quests you get in most MMORPG’s its all voice acted (usually very well) and the missions all have a story behind them, there’s often choices and moral decisions involved (and a bonus for shooting the 10 rats). So I did shoot a kids dad in front of him, so his mother could send him to the Sith Academy to learn the ways of the Dark Side of the force, but I was a bad ass mercenary bounty hunter so there, and he was whinny Actually I got points towards the Dark side of the force for that one (You drift towards the dark or the light depending on your actions) and I was nice on other occasions.

But as I said it’s “rather” addictive, got up at 9 on Saturday feeling not great. Cleaned up and shaved, oh there a nasty lump on chin, will my face ever heel So do I go out, friends where in town and I could perhaps join them for shopping? But I was meeting them for dinner later and I wanted my chin to heel up a bit.

So I stayed in all day and played SWTOR, again me bad. Managed to drag myself away from it and thrown on some jeans, boots and a top and do very basic and quick makeup job (the tinted moisturiser and powder foundation job again, it gives quite a natural look actually) and get on the bus. Didn’t bother bringing a camera.

I was off to meet Saffy, Tracey and Kimberly for dinner in Soho. There was also supposed to be Petra but she rain checked, and Louise who organised it, but also organised it for herself to be away elsewhere that weekend, doh.

Have a little wander around Covent Garden exchanging texts to find out where they are. Agreed to meet then at Charing Cross station, found a little bar near the tube entrance, got a glass of wine and settled in to wait.

They turned up erm, not to late, for them Saffy takes one look at me and turns around pretending to leave, she’d gone to the trouble of wearing a skirt, tights and heels and general dressing up, and I’m all casual. Kimberly is quite casual to, jean etc, cept she has on a pair of absolutely killer heels. Feel a little underdressed.

We wander though the very busy west end to China town. Pass by a demo protesting against violence against women. I’m against violence to people and animals (unless they are virtual). That slowed down progress and Leicester square being mostly a building site didn’t help either. Could of picked a better route.

Louise had given us the address of the restaurant and the booking details, they where under her surname at 7. We couldn’t find the exact restaurant, but by a process of elimination (it must be between numbers 29 and 31) its that Chinese restaurant (out of about half a million on Gerrard Street). But they don’t have the booking for 7, they do have one for Louise at 8 though, it might not of been ours but we say we will come back for it anyway. Had an off day when you where doing the booking Louise?

We retire to the nearest pub to wait until 8. Nearest pub is a very busy and very loud O’Neils on Wardour street. Tracey (who is GG for the record) gets the drinks, she gets us all pints, cause she likes pints. It a bit hard to talk cause its so loud and busy, but try.

Eight, right lets get back to the restaurant I’m STARVING, all I’d had to eat all day was a few little English muffins, something (SWTOR?) got in the way of shopping an so the cupboards where bare. One veggie set meal for the 2 vegetarians, 2 Peking set meals for the 2 meat eaters and some more beer please.

The foods pretty good, but unusually for set meals at Chinese restaurants there’s sensible portions, we scoff the lot, nothing is left. Middle course on the veggie meal is lettuce leaves with veggie stuff to put in them, its erm, not the best part of the meal (the fried tofu with chilli was, yum), looked at Tracey and Kimberly eating crispy duck in pancakes with plum sauce and got a little envious.

Payup and move on, another drink, the nights still young? Suppose so Since I’m the “local” I get the task of finding a bar, I’m going to have to visit more people out of town so I don’t have do that, if I find somewhere rubbish I’m responsible.

Lead the gang back through Leicester square All Bar One, the first place I could think of that would be suitable. Kimberly in her killer heels complains it’s to far. It’s also too crowded and to loud, but I suppose that’s the West End on a Saturday night. Bad choice, I feel responsible. Get the drinks in. Eventually grab some seats to take the weight of out heels.

We only stay for one drink and then head back towards Waterloo, where Saffy and Tracey’s hotel is, again I’m leading the way, so I use my power and drag them across the Hungerford footbridge, cause I like the view over the Thames at night. Kimberly’s changed into her Uggs now, so feet aren’t complaining, and put her hoody on cause its cold and had her hair in a pony tail…..

Man behind us on the bridge shouts “Ladies” and waves a black thing at us. Ah ohm that’s my hat, it’d blown of and I hadn’t realised, thank you kind gentleman.

One more drink before we part company, oh if we must, end up in a little Italian café/bar by the side of the South Bank centre, is quite nice and one drink turns in to two (Express Martini, yummy) and a long discussion.

The Bar wants to close and it must be pretty late now, so guide the group to the Hotel and bid them good night. Lovely to see you all again, lets keep doing this?

Waterloo, well I can just get the bus home from here. Oh its gone Midnight, I can’t. Damm. End up getting 2 buses to Stoke Newington Green, why, well they turned up quickly and where going vaguely in the right direction and its not to far from my flat.

There’s still places open in Stokie, and I somehow end up in the wonderfully named (well at 1am it is) named Paradise Fish Bar. I’m actually still hungry, even after that set meal and all those drinks. Or perhaps I’m just a bit pissed, but I get a bag of chips anyway and eat them wandering home.

Home, clean up and bed, erm clean up and I’ll just have another little session on SWTOR, I want to get my starship (happens around level 15). Turn it off and go to bed at 4:30 feeling terrible. But I did have my little virtual star ship

Work calls at 9am, walking me up. And I’m not on call, but they don’t know how to fix a problem. I fix the problem and go back to bed. Get up again at 12 feeling hung over, but still end up play SWTOR for another couple of hours. Like I said, addictive.

Drag my self from the computer eventually to eat and do my laundry.

So that’s the catch up. Next weekend, well I hope to go to dinner, go clubbing and then have my face lasered off. Again.

And a bit of November. Blogging is like graffiti, but with punctuation… and I never know where to place those apostrophes . I haven’t updated this for some times, sorry :/

The problem is work, I used to knock out those weekly updates on a Monday lunchtime, and if it took longer than just lunchtime, so what work was slack and typing in a large document in Word was a great way to look busy. Work is not Slack any more, I’ve basically been on one project for 10 months, there was a large team to start with and even though it “finished” in May, its still not really finished, and there’s only me left to support and develop additions to it, so my workload hasn’t let up for months.

That and well, I do the whole go out, shopping, club, gig thing quite easily these days and my updates where getting very repetitive. If you really do want to see what I’m doing my Flickr stream is updated more regularly and a picture tells a thousand words.

But I’ve managed to snatch a couple of hours, so here’s a potted October update that drifts into Novemeber. Last update was the weekend of the first of October where I lost my glasses, it was to hot and I was miserable.

Well I got some new glasses quite quickly, which was good cause the very old ones found in a draw I had to wear where giving me a headache. Right, that fixed and my face wasn’t to awful, so lets get out. An event called Remake Remodel had popped up in my Facebook for Friday night, it was a sort of alternative/indie night ran by the same people as Bedsitland, it was in the same venue to, so I though , hell why not. What to wear though, this?

Yeah let’s do that. The dress is one from H&M Division range and is A) Very short, B) Very tight (and it’s a 16 sob :()  C) Hard to get into (its only got a little zip at the back that does go down very far) D) Looks almost like unpolished latex (its actually coated fabric). A bit bold for a regular night out, it’s practically fetish wear, but I figured if the crowd for this club was like bedsit land they wouldn’t mind.

They didn’t, in fact  a few people where even more fetishy than me. It turned into a good night out, I danced till 2, to Bowie, Blondie, New Order, The Manic Street Preachers, Prince, Placebo and even T-Rex. Wasn’t particularly sociable most interaction was in the loo, warning people about the sticky door and the trick to using the hand drier. I think I’ll go back to Remake - Remodel.

Usual bus home, chips, crash out. Didn’t do much else that weekend, was on call anyway.

Next weekend, er  15th 16th, another sunny one, what’s with this weather, whole Saturday to play, get up usually bathe/shave/change/makeup routine, was a bit slow but get up eventually and jump on the Overgound heading east. Outfit was erm so plain I don’t even remember what it was.

Destination was Westfield Stratford City, I’d had a quick visit before in Ian mode and wasn’t totally impressed, but decided to give it a proper investigation in Helena configuration. It was busy when I got there, and kept getting busier, but I managed to grab a few little bits, some tights, a dress from H&M, this and that, spotted a dress I liked in Primark, but saw the length of the queue and just couldn’t be bothered, put it back.

The centre its self, well its touted as the biggest in Europe, but it doesn’t feel that big, its rather well packed in, and since its still got “newness” going for it, its rather rammed, esp on Saturdays. Its got an interesting mix of shops, the usual mall culprits, H&M, Zara, M&S, Top Shop, New Look etc, a few more upmarket places but not nearly as many as the West London Westfield and a few more erm, lower end, Primark, Greggs the bakers. The shops them selves have all tried hard and have rather good shop fits, but do tend to be a little smaller, these are not super stores. All in all, pretty good for a shopping mall, but not quite as nice as the Shepherds Bush one, but much easier to get to (for me anyway), I’ll come back.

The food hall section is nice though, big range of real food places (no McDonald’s L:)  ended up having Vietnamese noodles. There’s also a bar with a view of the Olympic site, enjoyed a quiet glass of Rose there.

Had big cam with me, with the wide angle lens and snapped a few shots, the low bright late autumn sun made for interesting light, so I think I got some nice shots.

Got some of the Olympic site to (it was looking a bit unfinished) and some of the station.

Overground back home, have a little rest, a light dinner, a glass of wine, change, redo face and go out again.

Destination this time was the Lexington, for the Gypsy Hotel, hadn’t been to the Gypsy Hotel for ages, not since it left Dalston, which was a shame, it’s a good night, so this was to make amends. Plus it was there 5th birthday bash and they where pushing the boat about a bit.

Bus down to Angel, remember what I wore this time, a black polo neck with a black leatherette mini, 30D black tights, black knee length boots and a black leatherette jacket. Hey I like black.

Again another good night, wide variety of acts, had camera and took pics.

But by 2 am I was dead on my feet, several reasons why, 1) the place was rammed and thus very hot, so full by midnight  they weren’t letting any more in and there was a queue 2) Boots had heels and I’m out of practice 3) Live music for over 4 hours solid, the final act I saw, Los Plantronics where like a Heavy Metal Mariachi band and absolutely mental, in this small crowded venue it was almost to much for my poor ears. I’m old.

Retrieved my coat (Hello Lady smiled the girl working the cloak room) but I was to hot to wear and staggered to the bus stop. Hey Lady, Hey Blondie called out one lad I crossed a road. I didn’t turn to look why. Stopped at a kebab shop in Chapel Market for chips and pitta, guy server was far to cheery for this time in the morning. Get bus home eventually, take boots off the moment I got through the door, clean up and crash hard. Sunday morning didn’t happen.

Next week is a short one, had Friday (21st of Oct) off. Sleep half of Friday, do some laundry and pop to the supermarket before changing. Had plans for the evening, Sue had put out feelers to see if anyone wanted to go to Sarastro’s in Dury Lane for dinner that night and 3 of us had said we would . She had texted me earlier in the day saying she and Tina (one of the other coming) where dressing up a bit for the meal, and I could if I wanted to

I had a plan for the outfit, a mini dress I bought last week in Westfield H&M (wide black and brown horizontal stripe) with black shinny leggings, got it on, think it looked good, but what shoes work with it? Went through a few pairs, think what really would of worked where black patent courts, have 2 pairs of these, but neither fitted very well I think I might have to walk a bit. Hrmm. Tried on a few more pairs, oohhhh these leopard skins ones look great, and fit well too, and I hadn’t worn them out before, yes lets wear them. Cept they didn’t go with the outfit, they clashed with the dress. So what to do, er, change dress of course. Ended up in a simple stretchy black long sleeve mini dress  and black 30D tights (er again, but I really like them), simple and sleek to contrast the fancy shoes.

Get a coat, pack get me home flats in my bag and go meet Sue, she said would be at a pub on the Strand. Bus takes me to the other side of Holborn and I have to walk it from there, change into flats,  or do it in the courts (3″ stiletto heel), challenge accepted, do it in the courts. Legs are burning a bit when we find the pub.

Sue texted and said they didn’t like the pub it was to crowded and will meet me outside the door. Stand around outside looking like a lemon for a bit before Sue finds me, she was outside the other door. Hi Sue, lovely to meet you again, she introduces me to her friend Tina, who was down from Manchester from the weekend, Tina’s says we met at Sparkle once, erm don’t remember, me bad, sorry.

We wander up through the busy streets towards Covent Garden look for another pub or bar to have a drink in before the meal, everywhere a bit packed, but the theatres have just opened and people are disappearing into them. We eventually find a little pub, forget its name, and settle in for a drink and a chat. Sue’s friend Joannae, the one we met at the Cambridge (she worked there) a few weeks ago, shes’s quite the character.

Sarastro’s, I’d heard about it, a sort of Opera Themed restaurant, but didn’t know quite what to expect, well   it was smaller than I though it would be but that’s probably the only disappointment, inside the décor is rather eccentric and OTT and the seating arrangement unusual, its almost like a theatre, you have a few tables in the middle, but then there’s little 2 level alcoves to the side, the upper floor ones are called Boxes, and Sue had got one for us. You had to climb some steep little steps to get to the box, and me in a tiny short dress

We settle in, wine (actually Fizz, thanks Sue) is ordered and we chat and soak up the atmosphere, its got quite a bit of it. There’s also a bit of banter with the box next door and I think we end up talking there photo’s and them talking photo’s for us. Oh and I’ve got big camera with me, I take a few shots

So the food, its sort of Mediterranean flavoured ish, I dunno, and I was a little disappointed with the veggie selection, so ordered some gnocchi with mushroom sauce as the least unappealing for a main. Turned a LOT better than I though it would, the gnocchi was lovely and fluffy, but the sauce, OMG, really rich, creamy and savoury, really liked that. The other’s where very happy with there food as well. Will have to come back

More wine is ordered, do we do desert, erm, erm, oh you forced me, we all do in the end, Tiramisu all around, cept Joanne who was intrigued by the “Pumpkin Crème Brule”, she offers us all a taste when it comes, its erm, intriguing?

Bill was oh, less than I expected, even with a good tip for the friendly waiter it’s very reasonable for a fancy sit down 3 course  in the West End.Bio break and freshen up at the Loo (which carries on the restaurant theme) before we move on.

Joanne suggests we move on to the Cambridge, so we set out across convent Garden to Cambridge Circus, I’m still in these silly heels, the Covent Garden cobbles are a bit of a challenge (made slightly harder by all that wine).

The Cambridge is rather full, but Joanne gets us bottle of wine (I’m already bit tiddly by now, oops) and finds us half a table, the other half was occupied by 3 very pretty late teen/early 20’s GG’s, who turn out be Austrian Students having a long weekend in London. We get chatting with them, well mostly Joanne is chatting with them, she has masses of self confidence, I try though, they want to know where are the places to go in London, we try to help with recommendations, but I can’t really help them with the details on which clubs have the cutest boys.

Sue and Tina bid us good night, thanks for a lovely evening girls, I finish my wine a little later and say bye too, and go and find a bus home. Get home quite tired and slightly drunk and still in my heels!

Decide to spend Saturday in Ian mode, face still isn’t healed and next weekend was planned be a biggy, so perhaps for the best. Did a little shopping though, got that dress from Primark I saw the week before, the young sales assistant, who was wearing so much makeup it would make a tranny cringe, only charged me a fiver for it Also found some red stretchy skinny jeans in M&S to, result. Watched films, read and played games for the rest of the weekend. Also found time to finish this bit of steam punkery….

The Lovelace MkII Patent Self Loading Precision High Pressure Steam Pistol. AKA a Nerf Maverick, a model steam engine, bits of wire and plastic pipe , bottle tops and junk found around my flat held together badly with lots of glue and paint. It still actually fires Nerf darts to But it is rather fragile and plastic nerf gun modifications aren’t really held in high esteem, plus all the time and money I spent on it, I could of actually bought one for less .  But it was quite fun to make and some exercise the creative muscles, think I might do another, I have an idea, but I need to find some small vacuum tube valves.

Short week at work, I have Friday off, weeeee go Snowboarding with my new stick, really getting used to it now, you can really throw it around, might of even managed to properly ollie it. Am dreaming of snow at the moment . Get home tired, but find enough energy to tidy up a bit, charge batteries, do some ironing and get outfits ready for Saturday anm

Saturday, Halloween weekend and LOTS on. Get up, usual routine and put on my daytime outfit.

Ok its not a regular daytime outfit, not something for popping down the shops unnoticed, but today it was, cause I was going to the MCM Expo at the Excel Centre and a Gothic Lolita outfit like that is very suitable (at least I hope it was). Put the petticoats and accessories in a bag, cover up the rest with a coat, grab big camera and head to the overground. Half the DLR was down today to was trying a different route, overground to Stratford and then the new DLR link from there.

Felt a little noticeable on the overground, the dress extends out the bottom of my coat, I’m wearing white stockings and have quite a lot of makeup on, but people around me do there best to ignore the weirdo.

Stratford stations a bit of a maze, but spot an Alice in Wonderland and follow her to the DLR. A number of Cosplayers get on the train. Have to change train at Canning Town, the platform for the train to Excel is heaving, and half there seem to be in costume feel more confident and undo my coat.

The crowd surges off the train at Customs house and I follow the mass of anime and game characters, lolitas, aliens and superhero’s going into Excel, there might have been some ordinary people in there, but not many

Change into my full outfit in the loo and put my bag into the cloakroom and go find the queue to get in. things have moved around since last time to it takes a while. There’s a massive queue for tickets :(  it fills up half a hall, it would take an hour to get through it. But, this time, I’d bought a ticket in advance look for the queue to get that converted into a wrist band that would allow me to enter…

There’s no queue! Just walk up to gate, get my ticket scanned and band put on and walk out, 2 minutes tops!!! Phew, massive relief, I was there over an hour last time. If you go to MCM expo you HAVE to get a ticket in advance.

Right I’m set, sort of, hoped to meet a few people here, but it turned out Mary-Ann would only be there on Sunday, but Pandora and Saffy where coming today, I’d been in touch with Saffy, but missed Pandora, hope to just run into her. Saffy, plus Tracy and Tracy’s brother where on the way so I had some time to kill, better have a look around the show then.

Think it’s a bit better laid out than last year, its crowded, but not impossible to move. Find a few thing of interest, spend some time on the Steam Punk Stand talking to Jonathan_Green who wrote the Pax Britannica books I’ve read a number of.

But its rather warm in the hall and there’s not an epic amount to see, so decide to pop outside for a break and some fresh air. And pose a bit a few camera’s get pointed my way throughout the day, far more than last time, but I suspect its mostly because of the freak show aspect, I’m rather old and not exactly the right sex to be wearing this dress, even overhear one or two people saying thing along the lines of “Look, a man in Lolita dress”.  Someone did actually recognise me from my blog though, which was a bit weird.

There are actually quite a few “Crossplayers” about but most don’t bother with passing, makeup, or even shaving in some cases. Also spotted 3 Kigurumi, a rather odd form of Cosplay where they wear a flesh tone lycra bodysuit under the costume and a large plastic anime character head complete with painted on big eye’s, completely hiding the wearers identity, though saying that, looking at their figures I don’t think they where GG. It’s a bit peculiar I suppose, somewhere between cosplay and fetish, but then again who am I to talk.

Did find some other Lolita’s, all pretty young GG’s of course, one chatted to me for a bit, she was shocked how much I paid for my parasol, here’s cost 3x as much. They did a sort of gathering/photo shoot thing, most seemed to know each other, but I didn’t want to crash it, didn’t think I fitted in.

Had received a couple of texts from Saffy, they had got there tickets so I said I would meet them outside. Not sure they go that text, waited 15 minutes before hunger drove me inside to the food concessions.

Pick up some Sushi and a soft drink, its over 7 quid and the sushi is tinned tuna and crab stick. But it tasted OK. After I finish it I hear a “Hello”, its Saffy, she’d found me, Hi Saff, Hi Tracy and Hi Tracy’s brother (erm names, me bad, sorry). Saffy’s and Tarcy are in causal wear (Saff wore a wonder woman teeshirt though), but the brother is in a full Imperial Death Star Officer uniform, it’s very good, apparently he has made his own scout trouper uniform too.

They want to eat first, so I join them and we chat. Saff’s looking well considering (If you know her, you know what I mean), but her feet are killing here already, heels!

We head for another wander around the show after that, I sort of lead the way for a bit. Get the big cam out and start taking shots

There’s a companion “Memorabilia” show next door they let us in to as well, this is similar to expo, sort of, less Anime, more cult flim and TV and as well as the merchandise dealers there are several props or replica props around (big ones, the Blues Mobile, the General Lee, a Delorean Time Machine etc). Buts mostly stars stitting at tables signing autographs. Ok Stars is a little broad for some of the people there, but there’s a few I recognised, Anthony Daniels, Herr Flick of the Gestapo (erm real name?), a woman who was in the Carry on films (Erm name again, she was looking very good for her age though)  etc people like that.

We all are a bit warm now, and Saff’s feet are killing her, Saff finds a table and chair outside, Tracey goes to fetch coffee and I sort try and make sure they don’t loose each other. Have another chat, and get Tracey to take my pic before leaving them for a bit to get pics of the Cosplayers

Rejoin the Saff and Tracy later, but its only to say bye, I’m flagging now and still have a big evening ahead. Lovely to see you all again, coming in May? In costume this time? Return to the cloakroom to pick up my bag and change to travel mode in the loo again before heading back to the DLR.

Get a couple of looks on the way home, but no trouble. Home off with the dress and slap and have a lie down for a bit. Refreshed I have abit to eat and redo makeup and get into my evening outfit

I call it Queen of the Zeppelin Pirates, another one of my attempts at steampunk that ended up more burlesque. It was hard to see with the eyepatch and no specs, so didn’t go out like that, left the gun at home to, it was rather fragile, instead packup big cam in my bag, but on a coat and a pair of flats and head towards Kings Cross.

Its White Mischief again, and OMG, I’m early, it was due to open at 9 and it looks like I’ll arrive on the dot, am a bit worried it will be empty and I’ll be walking around like a lemon, so jump of the bus one stop early and slowly walk towards the Scala to waste a bit of time.

Get there, turn the corner and Oh, its not open just and there’s a queue. A long queue, full of people in great steampunk outfits. Guess it won’t be empty then.

Get in eventually, guy on the door quietly Sir’s me, but I go to the women for the bag check, they have to radio to see if camera’s are allowed, of course they are and we are in. Pop to the loo to change outfit, queue to put bag in the cloakroom and get my first drink. I’m drinking rum and coke tonight, cause rum is wot pirates drink init and it has to be dark rum, pirates don’t drink Bacardi. Plus I’ve developed a taste for it, it’s all caramely and sweet. Stop to watch a singer who’s performing in the bar area

By the time I’m all sorted and get to the main stage the show has already started. First act I see is…

Sort of a rag time singing duo, quite nice. I stay by the main stage for a number of acts, there’s Proffessor elemental our MC for the evening who does a few of his tunes as well (Raise your pinky finger in the ait like you just don’t care :)), Millicent BInks , the evening standard sex columnist does a Burlesque turn for us  (think she was in the first band to?)  then its one of the bands I was looking forward to, The Men Who Will Not Be Named For Nothing, a SteamPUNK band with a strong emphasis on the Punk bit (ad a bit of Death Metal and Cockney Knees up thrown in for good measure). I’d seen them before at the Festival of Sins and was Looking forward to seeing them again

They are great, but its all getting a bit loud and hot and my heels are starting to make there presence felt (first time out in these boots), so I leave near the end of there set for another drink. Remember last year and am very careful on the stairs.

Get my drink and go for a wander around the other areas of the Scala, there’s installations and other acts

Stalls selling stuff, a sketch artist and a photographer all sorts, its always a bit of a mixed bag at White Mischief, which is one of the reasons I like it so much, there’s almost to much going on. Some great costumes this year too, far more steampunks and fewer generic fancy dress (did spot of a couple of Jimmy Savills though :() my efforts at steam punk always seem a bit poor (and tarty) compared to everyone else. One thing that is different this time is the number of people, I heard they limited the tickets for this event, last Halloween it was rammed, but this time it was busy, but you still could move, which is a great improvement and really helped the event.

Spend a little more time in watching the main stage and see and aerial act from Jackie Le, Brass pop from the Hackney Colliery Band, a chainsaw juggler and the headline act for the evening and (apparently) the biggest steam punk band in the world, Abney Park.

But the corset, the boots, my age, the long day and the amount of drink I’d been consuming (I’d starting hitting the jagermiester….)  had caught up with me and after the bands ha finished I was thinking about calling it a night. Another little tour of the other attractions and I ended up in the upstairs bar with one last drink and a little boogie. Ended up trying to do high kicks to “Mien Herr” (you know, from from Cabaret) with Mr J (the young man who used to compare the Festival of sins), OMG! I really must have had a bit to much to drink.

It was definitely time to call it a night after that, get my coat and bag, changed into travel mode and head into the surprisingly not cold Kings Cross evening (er morning). Trudge f sore fotted up the hill to Angel, get my chips and pitta from the still cheerful kebab shop in Chapel market and go find a bus. My corset decided that large portion of chips and pitta was to much and I had to loosen it off. Bus, home, clean up, crash.

Sunday, slept though half of it most of it, a plate of beans and toast and a large mug of tea in the local greasy spoon made me feel a lot better, a couple of beers in the local after didn’t. I wanted to go see the Vile Electrodes play that night, but by 5 or 6 I realised my body wasn’t going to let me, it’d had too much and needed a rest. Stayed in and got an early night instead

Manged to find a bit more energy during the week to go see Shh, who where playing in the west end, in a little pub venue near Leicester square, a gig on a work night, I was going to regret that. Worked from home that day, not very hard before downing tools a little early and getting changed.

It’s that cheepo tiger print dress from Primark, not bad for a fiver, but I could of done with more eye linner. Pack the camera, on with a coat and flats and got the tube to Piccadilly. Shh are playing a pub called The Comedy on a bill with 3 or 4 other acts (I only saw 3 though).

Not a bad gig at all, got a few nice pics despite the light, Shh where great as ever, might need a some more material though, buts that’s just because I’ve seen them loads. The other bands, Shelia McQueenr  was a touch erm experimental, not really my thing, but Cloe Corpse rocked out with a ton of teenage energy. Pity the audience had dwindled a bit by then. Stayed for bit of a chat afterwards, but couldn’t stay to late, back on the tube home. Not a bad night out, bold for a midweek, I did get noticed a bit though (that dress wasn’t exactly subtle was it), a few sideways glances and nudges to friends going on, but no hostility. Don’t feel great on Wednesday

Wanted to go out on Friday, Bedsitland again, but after MCM, White Mischief and Shh, body veto’d me again, another quite night and and long lie on an Saturday. Didn’t do much at all that weekend.

That was October (and a week of November), but OMG, its late November now, where is the time going? Have a few more things to write up about that, including when I went to work in a mini skirt…

So I had the laser, worked my on call weekend and went back to more work on Monday. Mad panics and chaos follows, due to people changing things and not telling other people (i.e. me) but I think I got stuff ready. Oh and they expect me to work this weekend as well

Saturday 17th then, face isn’t in a good enough state to do makeup, it’s the embedded specs of hair left over from the laser treatment that cause lumps and spots and broken skin that are the problem, and my trying to dig them out with sharp tweezers doesn’t help either, but I just have to get the little bastards out of my face, its like an obsession. I did have a vague plan to go to the Gypsy hotel night that evening but had to cancel it.

I could of sat at hope moping but instead I got the snowboard out. The new snowboard, earlier that week I’d treated myself to a 2010/11 (last years model, was heavily discounted) K2 “World Wide Weapon” a soft short park/jib board with a flat base and rocker tips (sorry for the snowboard geekery) so wanted to go play with it, so got on the train to MK very early Saturday morning.

It was an OK session, but you can tell the snow season is coming back, it was much busier than it was in Summer. The new boards wasn’t quite what I expected, it didn’t feel as soft as I hoped and I still struggled to pop and press it, (I just must be a wimp) but it turned far better than I expected, I could carve on the thing! Think I’m going to have to go on a free style course again.

Got back from MK very tired, so just had a night in with Torchwood and Dr Who and a bottle of wine, hoping the face would heel a bit by next week.

Sunday, work, college was supposed to do some of it, but his internet connection went belly up so I had to cover his work too. Finished my bit at 4:30am Monday morning Went to bed, didn’t get up till 11. Told work I wasn’t coming in but would do some work at home later.

Helena mode wasn’t really an option but I still really wanted to get out, so I took the over ground to Stratford in Ian mode, to have a look see at the new Westfield shopping centre they’d just opened and to try and get some accessories to go with my Gothic Lolita outfits.

New Westfield, hrrmm, its billed as the biggest shopping centre in Western Europe, but it doesn’t feel it, in fact it doesn’t feel as big as the Sheppard’s Bush one. It feels a little closed in and crowded, but I guess that could of just been down to all the people (even on a Monday) coming and having a look too. I guess it gets its size from the fact it’s got 3 floors of shops, not 2 like the western one. Couldn’t find the accessories I wanted either (2 white hair flowers and a white hair bow). Was a bit disappointed.

So what next, I really wanted those accessories (erm not quite sure why I had to have them, but well, you know, I get like this) so jumped back on the train and went to Camden, there’s a little accessories stall in the Market I was sure would have the stuff. The stall was closed on Monday another disappointment, Oh well, I’ll get them another day, it’s not like I really have to have them (as I kept telling myself).

Do have a wander around the shops and stalls while I’m there, find a Gothic Lolita blouse in the almost unheard of size of XXL! Gawd that’s probably a 14, it might even fit me. But it was a bit pricey, leave it.

Also spot a long sleeved mini dress in H&M, in a sort of black leatherette/PVC material, it looked almost like unpolished latex in certain light, it was practically fetish wear. Kinky, esp for a high street retailer. So I bought it (was only £14.99 to) Tried it on at home, very difficult to get in to, but hrmm, like it. There’s an awful lot of leatherette on the high street at the moment, esp skirts, shorts and trousers, It’s a trend I thoroughly approve of (and a “few” items of it have found there way into my shopping bag )

Spent the rest of the day, working on my steam punk pistol model, I’m trying to combine a nerf gun, a model steam engine, a spay gun pressure gauge and various bits of plastic and wire into a Steam Punk weapon, its coming along, I suppose. oh I did work a bit too.

Week, work, more stuff breaking but manage to talk my boss into giving me Friday off in lue for the weekend work

Friday, face wasn’t great, red and lumpy, but it was better than it was and there was no broken skin or scabs, so Helena day. I’d been missing it.

Bathe/shave/makeup/dress. Very little shaving required, on the face anyway, the laser didn’t just damage my skin, it nuked an awful lot of hair as well, I’m 99% free on the chin, neck and cheeks and the upper lip has thinned to its lowest point since I was 13. Please don’t grow back. Please, Pretty Please, Pretty Please with Sugar on Top, Please don’t grow back.

Outfit, its nice and sunny and I wanted to wear a skirt, so on with a baggy denim mini, 30d tights, flat heeled boots, a printed tee shirt (it said “Love Rocks” on it, of course she does ) and a leather jacket. Cept it was to warm for the jacket, replaced it with a black cardi.

Right off to Camden again, that stall should be open again today. It wasn’t, when I got there, but it did open later and I got my white hair bow. After all that, when I tried the bow on with the outfit (the pink sweet Lolita one) I wasn’t actually sure it worked. Typical! Got a few other things to, a white parasol, some white hair flowers (with elastic loops on them, so I can wear them on my wrists), that white XXL blouse I mentioned before (it turned out to be cheaper than I thought) and yet another petticoat (I needed black one in a particular length you see. Needed, well, you know.). Also manage to find a spot for a picture

Fat!

Lunch was a cheese sandwich and some chips and a glass of Rose in the Lock Tavern. Had pretty much what I wanted from Camden, but there where a couple of bits I wanted that would probably be best found in the West End, so on the Bus. Phew its warm, even this Cardi is a bit much.

Find a black bra I liked in M&S on Oxford street, had to get a new one with nice strap’s cause I was planning to wear an off the shoulder top later and would be flashing it Have a little wander around the Oxford street shops before getting a rather warm tube in home direction.

Stop at the Tesco’s next the tube station for supplies before heading home, with a lot of bags. Ok trip out, got most of what I wanted, only got a few “looks” and verbal, well a young man might of exclaimed “That’s a bloke” to his mate, but it was on a busy and loud street and I didn’t fully catch what he said.

Was warm and tired when I got in, wanted a little lie down and cool drink, did that, but couldn’t do that all night. Nope, more things to do, more places to go.

Clean up and change outfit, off with the denim mini, on with a leatherette and denim mini (a very short, very tight, almost too tight one, from H&M) swapped sensible beige bra and tee shirt for new black bra and off the shoulder top and comfy flat boots for slightly to tight black leatherette and denim (cause they matched) heeled ankle boots. Fixed up makeup, more powder to cover up nasty bits, more eyeshadow, more lippy and more mascara. The aim was “Rock Chick”, the result was a bit more “Tranny Tart” but I did the best I could, figure it would be dark so I could get a way with it. Was a bit worried about the skirt and boots, both where slightly to tight, but I’d spent the previous Thursday parading around my flat in them in an attempt to break them in a bit, this was to be there first public outing, I’d wimped out in going out in those boots before, but this time I was determined. But packed a pair of ballet flats in my bag just in case. Also snapped the 85 1.4 on big camera and packed it in my bag.

Rock Chick and big camera = Gig I was off to the opening night of “Club Coltello” (Coltello - Italian for Knife?) at the Dusk Till Dawn in Archway. It was a “Hot and Heaving Trash Rock”club night organised by Guri Go Go and her fiancé, Guri is The Priscilla’s Guitarist, and guess who where headlining the club also on the bill was a couple more bands, Drag your heels and The Flying Rats, hadn’t heard of them There stuff on sound cloud didn’t really inspire either, but the Priscillas where always good, it was only a £5 to get in and a bus ride away and so I went for it, I could always turn around and go home if I didn’t like it.

Bus to Archway, er shall I go that way and have to change or wait till that other one comes along and take me all the way, er that way, er no that’s the other one, run to the other stop (those ankle boots have a 3″ block heel too) and just catch it.

Am at Archway by 5 past 9, bands where supposed to start at 9:15 (and bands are always late), so I would have to hang around for a bit, in a straight rock club, in a leather mini skirt, ermmmm.

Navigate my way around the Archway Gyratory’s many pedestrian crossings to the to club. Well more pub really, its not huge, am apprehensive about it, but Blondie’s X-Offender was being played, and Guri is taking the money the door, she recognises me and says Hi, so, so far so good, get a drink (JD and Coke £3.50, not bad) from smiley bar maid and settle in a dark corner to wait until the bands start.

Try to hide a bit in the club, but nobody gives me bother, a think a couple of girls sitting at the bar clocked me, but apart from that, its OK. Am approached by a woman dressed in black, turns out to be Jenny Drag, the Priscillas lead singer, she also recognised me (I think they’d googled themselves and found my blog and photo’s of them at the 100 club). I try to make a little nice conversation, but am totally tongue tied (combination of my shyness + the loud music in the club + an actual Rock Star in front of me) and come out like sounding like a lunatic, oops. Jenny politely moves on to say Hi to more people.

First band comes on about 9:30, I’ve never know a punctual musician. The Flying Rats are two guys, one rather nerd meets buddy holly looking guitarist and a drummer with a sideburns and a baseball cap who looks like he should be changing the oil of a Chevrolet Pick Up truck in a garage in Minnesota before going to watch NASCAR with a bottle of Coors or something. Unusual pair. Its rather Lowfi Rock sound, and very loud in this small club, the pair of them manage to make a hell of a lot of sound. They could play, but dunno what the songs where about though, the vocals got drowned by the drums and guitar.

Was worried about the light in the club, but it proved sufficient for big camera and fast lens, the colours came out very bold.

Someone else say’s i during the set. Oh Hi Andie, wasn’t expecting you Its to loud to talk (well for me to listen anyway) curing the set, but get a drink afterwards and have a chat about, well the usual stuff. I wasn’t expecting to see anyone I know here, so Andie turning up was a big bonus.

Next band was more to my taste Drag Your Heels sounded a bit thin on Sound Cloud, but I’m glad to report they’re much better live, they in fact Rock .

There’s a plasma screen in the bar near the stage, its playing a horror film (sound was off) I think I’ve heard of but can’t remember the name, it involves snow, gold coins, young people in a cabin, chainsaws and Nazi Zombies (the worst kind of zombie). My eye’s seem to keep flicking between the band and the film, its weird but I can’t keep my eyes of either.

After the band its got warm in the club so we pop outside for another chat and another drink, My JD and coke tastes like bubble gum for some reason.

The Priscillas are the last band, top entertainment as ever, I’m dancing a bit and singing along (music’s loud enough to drown me out, good) and taking pics. Film on the plasma screen had changed to “Machete” (a connection to Dusk Till Dawn, if you are a bit of a film geek).

The coloured lights where erm interesting. Anyway, its always worth seeing the Priscillas, if they play near you, go see, I command you :P.

Hrm not a bad night out that, good bands for a fiver. Not sure how often they are going to run it, but I might come back if I like the look of the bands they have on. Also no hassle or attitude from the punters, was mostly ignored, even though I wasn’t exactly dressed down, which is nice.

Neither Andie or I really want to stay after the bands finish, I doubted people would be dancing. So what next, its not to late, bus home, or jump on the last tube to Bank and go to that night in the London Stone? Andie offered me a 3rd alternative, a lift home? Well I wasn’t really sure about that thing in the city, is was technicaly a memorial night for someone I’ve never met, so even though I was invited, it didn’t feel right, and a lift is better than a bus ride, so car it is.

Traffic’s mad at midnight on Holloway road for some reason, but Andie’ s Sat Nav finds a way around. I would of invited Andie in when we go to my flat, if it wasn’t a disaster area, I didn’t even have any non broken mugs to offer drinks in. Thanks for the lift Andie, and thanks for coming out.

In, tired, been a long day, clean up and bed. Hang on, where are my chips?

Saturday, hrm, better go out and get a new mug (of the tea and coffee kind, could do with a new face too, but can’t find one in the shop). Face has to recover a bit, so it’s in Ian mode. Also pick up some male clothes, work trousers, now I have 3 pairs that fit, so I can extend my laundry cycle to once every 3 weeks. Male clothes (apart from snowboard clobber) are just cheap and partical ones only bought when necessary these days. In the evening, its Wine, Torchwoord and Dr Who, again

Sunday, back to Helena mode, face would of preferred it if I didn’t but I had a lunch appointment with the Angels, so sod it, plaster on some slap and find so comfy casual Sunday afternoon clothes, black vest, jeans, red check shirt, black ballet flats. I hoped none of the others where dressing up in their Sunday best, I was a bit of a scruff.

Face did look lumpy and rough, but sod it, off out, get bus to the West End. Young man sits behind me on the bus and starts endlessly and loudly sniffing and snorting snot up his nose I move down to the lower deck to get away from him, that sound makes me feel a bit ill. When I’m voted high queen of the universe, men who are unable to use a tissue and blow there noses will have there credit cards, phone and driving licence taken from them, be reduced to the status of children and not be allowed out without there mothers, if you can’t blow your nose, you don’t deserve adult status.

Jump off in at New Oxford Street I’m a bit early for lunch (about an hour in fact ) so drift around the shops in Covent Garden a bit to kill time. Find a spot for a photo just of Long Acre.

Get to the Pub, The Cambridge, just of Cambridge Circus at 12:30. Sue had organised the dinner through the Angels forum, I don’t frequent that often these days, but she’d mentioned it on Facebook too, I replied and they let me come along. I think the reason for the location was the fact Joanne was working there as a bar maid, a friend of Sue, I though she looked familiar only afterwards did I remember she was the one in the red dress we met in Brighton in August. Actually was supposed to be joining us for lunch, but she couldn’t’ get out of work till 3.

Nobody I recognised was at the Pub, well I was a bit early, so I got a class of wine and went to the upstairs Bar/Dinning room to wait. Sue found me 15 minutes later, her and Linzzie where actually waiting down stairs, go down to join them.

Hi Sue, haven’t seen you since Pride. Try to chat a bit, but well, you know what I’m like. Petra turns up in a bit, larger than life as ever, then Ange and then Tanya and we are set.

Back upstairs to the dinning room, there’s still a table for 6 left for us. So what to have, menu isn’t long and its mostly meat and fish, veggie nut roast Sunday Lunch or Fish, hrm, hrm, Oh Veggie it is then.

Food and wine arrives, as usual I just wolf mine, (I think I’ve explained this before, I grew up in a big family, and we are from Yorkshire, so its shut up, eat quickly and always clear your plate) a 2nd bottle of wine is started and we are all getting a bit more comfortable (and probably louder) as we solve the worlds problems over dinner

Desert, Oh no, I mustn’t, but every one else, so I forced my self Eton mess it is, and more wine…. We finish with coffee, needed that, or I would of probably had a post Sunday Lunch snooze (my Dad always does that). Its little over £20 a head when we get the bill (we weren’t hurried at all), which I think was rather good value. Joanna from the bar had finished her shift and joined us for a bit. The camera’s come out, what are we like

Its gone three now and we try to decide what to do after lunch, shops? Well I haven’t got anything better to do, Ange wants to find the nearest MAC anyway and Petra wants to go to Zara. While we are waiting outside the pub for everybody to get ready, 2 loud lads spot us and make some “amusing” comments, normally I just walk away from that sort of think, but Petra goes of to chat to them!

Lead the group across 7 Dials to Neal Street and MAC, then down to long Acre again for Zara. We all have a look around, but I’m not in the shopping mood really, got everything on Friday. We loose Petra in Zara though.

Continue down Long Acre to H&M, I like that branch, but had been there earlier, so I just sort of drift whilst everyone else shops. Phew I’m tired, and not looking good, makeup’s melting a bit. Feel I’m been noticed a bit to much as well, the Chance of being noticed = amount of T-girls in the group squared rules is in full effect.

After H&M I’m was in half a mind to say bye and go find a bus, but decide to stay a bit longer, as the next suggestion is to go get a cup a tea Sue leads us to a nice little café on St Martins Lane. A cup of tea was most welcome, but I was still flagging, and my face was heading ever further south, so I say my good byes and head towards the bus stops. Thanks for organising a lovely lunch Sue, cya again soon.

Bus home, well 2 bus’es actually and a stop at local shop for a lite bite for tea. Well it should have been lite Clean up and have an early night.

Get things done during the week, its quite productive, and had plans for the weekend, day and night. But the weather has very very unseasonably warm, nearly 30 degrees, in October, what gives? and the sun was really low to, it seams to be in my eyes most of the time, this put me off going out in Helena mode in daylight. But the evening, well other things conspired against that, first was my face, some had headled up, some bits had got worse tried it with makeup, no, didn’t work and I didn’t think it would do it any good. So I wipe it all off and washed my face and reached for my glasses. 2nd problem, where the FUCK are my glasses? Hunted high and low around the flat, ending up finding several things I though I’d lost, and tiding up a fair bit, but no glasses.

In the end I just went out in Ian mode, weaing prescription sun glasses in a bad mood. Bought some tools (for the steam punk project) and came home, still in a mood. Still couldn’t find the glasses. Watched Doctor who instead wof going out wearing a pair of old realy huge and heavy glasses from years ago I found in a draw, they has slightly the wrong prescription for me now and that made me feel a bit ill.

Sunday, still no glasess, and laundry to do, and work calling me cause something was broken and they didn’t know how to fix it

Not one of the best weekends ever

Monday, head aches from these old glasess, so went to shop and put down money (high density lenses are not cheap) on 2 new pairs (I want a backup), they could do one pair that afternoon, so finnaly I can see properly again.

Old glasses will probably turn up in 6 months time.

Next week, well it looks like the temperature will drop to more seasonal levels, but am on call and my face is still nasty

This Saturday (actually Aug 27th) I had to go out, after last weeks complete failure to do anything, trouble is I didn’t really have many options, the normally busy calendar was a bit barren and nobody I knew seemed to want to do anything (or didn’t want do to anything with me anyway). Had a couple of ideas, but hrm , oh lets just go shopping in the day and see what happens in the evening.

Yeah shopping again but where, hrmm, I’d been trying on outfits for an up and coming club trip and workout one I liked, apart from my hair, was just to mousy, I wanted something bold, so new wig? And where to get one, er a wig shop perhaps? Thought about it a bit and remembered one in Lakeside shopping centre. So go to Lakeside, yeah why not, its been a while since I was there. Up and change, usual routine, outfit was a plain tee shirt, jacket, denim shorts, black semi opaque tights and tan boots with 2-3″ block heels, originally it was a black leatherette jacket, but it felt rather warm, it was, technically, still summer and for a change the sun was shinning, so changed into a sort of suit jacket with rolled up sleeves. Little denim shorts and black tights is rather unsubtle for daylight, but it is still a bit fashionable (among teens and 20 something girls, erm ) but I liked it, so I wore it, to hell with the consequences. Put a hat on too, it looked windy.

Out the house a bit late, hrm clouds, anyway no matter, knew my tube was out that weekend, so get bus to Angel. Ah, Northern line out to find another bus towards the city just as the rain starts. Rain lashes down, glad I’m on the bus. Bus goes on diversion past Liverpool street station, oh, erm, better get of then, no idea where its going next. Rain stops pretty much as I get off, phew. Walk to Fenchurch street, London’s hardest to find and worst connected rail terminus (is this a hint to people from Essex?) and jump on a train to Lakeside.

Train starts out empty, but fills up, I had a block of seats to my self, but a teenage boy playing music out of his phone sits near me then two teenage girls sit down right next to me, one has her elbow in my side for half the trip. Put on the headphones, turn up the Chemical brothers and stare out of the window, glad it was only a half hour trip.

Lakeside, here we are again, not Greater London’s finest shopping centre (bit odl an tatty, like me), but good enough. Spot a blouse in a little independent fashion store that’s a bit lacey and gothic, I’ll have that, I’d been messing with another outfit, a steampunk one, with a gothic Lolita blouse, which was a “bit” on the small side and thought this might work instead. The Gothic Lolita blouse was side XL, I was a bit upset it was still to small, until I found the original suppliers website (it was from China) and size guide, XL was designed for someone with a 31″ waist and 34″ chest!, no wonder it was too tight, obviously not designed for large European T-girls then.

The wig’s store down there isn’t it, erm oh yes it is. Have a look around, staff smile and ask if they can help, but you know, nothing immediately grabbed me, I was after something long blonde or red and glam, there where one or two that where OK, but over a hundred quid, they have to be better than OK. Left the shop empty handed.

Oh well, still there’s one or two more things I want, trip not totally wasted. And its lunch time anyway, lets eat. Walk towards the lake bit, there’s several restaurants down there, check the menu at Café Rouge, yep that will do, and oh the sun’s come out, I can sit outside, under a brolly though, the clouds might come back. The waiters at Café Rouge are friendly, the first referees to me as Senorita, the 2nd as Madam (think they are getting there theme’s mixed up ) they take my order and turn of the heater off under the brolly as asked.

My food arrives extremely fast, my wine appears to have gone missing though, oh well, it will probably turn up, eat my cheese omelette (and fries, me bad) in the sunshine, it’s all rather pleasant. My wine turns up just after I finish my food with an apology. But its still nice, so I sit admiring the view with my Rose. My that’s a big black cloud…. The heavens open again, I’m under a big brolly, so I’m OK, so sit it out, and anyway, I hadn’t finished my wine. Did this cloud follow me from London? It’s almost petered out by the time by the time my drink is finished, so can pop back into the restaurant without getting too wet and pay the bill. Even with the rain it was a rather nice lunch.

Right more shopping, have a good look around and end up buying some basic tights (I’m always laddering tights) and undies in M&S, a grey and black asymmetric dress in another little independent and some chocs in Hotel Chocolate. Not a huge haul, but I have so much stuff anyway.

When’s the next train back, iphone tells me it’s in 10 minutes, oh if I hurry I can catch it. But I take the wrong exit out of House of Fraser, get lost for a bit and miss it. Doh! Catch the next one.

It’s raining again by the time I get back to London, and I have to walk to find another bus, but again get lucky again and by the time I’m out of the station it’s stopped. Walking back to Liverpool Street I have to pass a group of people, think I overhear one of them, a young girl, giggle “that’s a man”. Oh well, that’s about the only negative reaction I got all day I was aware of (and I might of misheard), oh and I got one of those knowing little smiles from a shop assistant in Ann Summers, so overall, not bad I suppose, esp for walking around a busy shopping centre on Saturday afternoon in short shorts.

Stop to take a picture on the walk back.

Face ain’t great is it.

Back at Liverpool street, stop at M&S food for a couple of essentials (Gin and Tonic is counted as an essential these days) then it’s a couple of buses to get home.

I’m tired now, been walking around on heels a lot, I don’t want to go out now anyway, nope staying in, with Doctor Who and Torchwood, and that Gin and Tonic.

Sunday, work to do. Start with the laundry, the recycling and washing up and end up having a big tidy up. I just sort of got in the mood for it, moods like this are rare, but do strike occasionally, normally I hate housework. Also had to get ready for Monday. Monday was a bank holiday and I had decided to do a photoshoot, I had all these outfits I’d bought for my birthday I’d never photographed, and my flickr stream had been short of viewers recently.

Went to bed on Sunday quiet tired, but also quiet proud of my labours, everything was ready for the shoot and my flat hadn’t looked this good for ages.

Monday, oh a lovely sunny day, for a bank holiday anyway. Bathe, shave, makeup and get into the first outfit

This is my latest Lolita dress, I got it from China, from a site that seems to specialise in selling direct to the Western Market called Milanoo and they do larger sizes. It isn’t the best made item in the world though, lots of poor stitching and the zip at the back is a bit sticky, but it fits pretty well and looks cute, really rather enjoy wearing it, it’s kinda sexy in a very odd sort of way. Think I’ll wear this to the next MCN Expo in October.

Have lunch and redo makeup for the next outfit.

This is what I was planing to wear to the next club Antichrist. The bodysuit is a PVC coated lycra one, made to measure, from another Chinese website (the site has now gone missing…), the stockings are similar material, got them off ebay, they where much to short when got them, so I cut the toes off and pulled them up over my ankles, turning them into sort of very long leg warmers, well I would have boots on to cover up my toes anyway. Wristbands where leather ones got off Camden market, boots where some very high platform leather ones I got ages ago and the corset was another old one I had. I’d found some wide suspenders in my collection of bits and pieces that I could clip on the bottom of the corset. Oh and the hair, while going through stuff on Sunday I located a older longer dark blonde wig I’d got from Hot Hair that I’d retired from daytime use as it never seemed to stay tidy, but trying it on with this outfit I think it worked well, didn’t need a new wig after all. I like that outfit, but figured I would never last the night at Antichrist in those boots and I had to be careful what underwear I wore under the body suit to keep everything in place..

Third outfit was a coated Lycra dress, notice a theme here?

This was difficult, the dress was totally uncompromising, I’d original wanted to wear tights under it, but the seam on the tights showed up through the dress! Found some holds ups (my last pair) to wear instead. The dress was even hard to put on, its got a back zip, that rather unusually, starts at the top and zips down, the only way I could get it on was to tie a ribbon to the zip to pull it down, then cut the ribbon off afterwards to stop it dangling down. But the worst part was how it made me look, gawd I’m fat as I said, it’s totally uncompromising, every bump and lump shows. Try to do poses that disguised the blubber, but it’s mostly unsuccessful. I can’t go out in this dress until I loose some weight.

Last outfit was a catsuit, in, guess….

Yeah more PVC coated lycra, well its so much easier to wear (and cheaper) than latex and fits better than heavy cotton backed PVC. This one is another from Milanoo, made to measure. It fits rather well, but the lycra does stretch a lot, its got a back zip, that only goes half way down, which is odd and makes it a little hard to get on, but not impossible, and it does feel rather slinky when its all there. Wore it ith PVC thigh boots and long gloves and little cat ears, but have the same problem as the dress, FAT!!! Only really got one photo I liked, see above. Trouble is in the mirror it looked OK, but the camera seemed to add pounds The mirror was almost certainly the one that was lying.

So what to do, well loosing weight is the long term plan (and its proving rather hard), but for now, lets get a corset out, got a black PVC one out of the collection and get it tightened it up good and proper.

That’s more like it, what’s new pussy cat.

Right that’s the photo’s done, have a little slink about in my cat suit before starting work on the processing. There’s a little more retouch than usual in the pics, sorry, but well it’s a fantasy shoot (poor excuse, sorry).

Back to work Tuesday, but it’s a short week, phew.

Friday, try to lie in, its going to be a long night. It’s club Antichrist again and I’d found trying to go straight after work on Friday evening tends to kill me for the rest of the weekend. If I take the day off on Friday instead and lie in, I usually only loose the following Saturday Have small shopping list to complete first though decide to save the face and do it in Ian mode. Mange to get everything I think, a No VPL thong to wear under the bodysuit to keep bits under control, an AC ticket, a new book, some vitamin pills and a few groceries, and have a nice Vietnamese lunch before returning home to change. Hey its warm, it had been cold and raining all week, but today, then sun came out. Which would have been nice if I didn’t have to go out in shinny fetish clothing and heavy makeup tonight, for a change I wanted it cold and grey.

Clean up and makeup, put on far to much eyeliner, but that’s the look I wanted. Into the outfit described above, with a couple of changes :- swapped the stiletto boots for the big gothy ones, more comfy but they still had the right look and added leather fingerless gloves for extra attitude

So how am I going to get this to Vauxhall then? Bits like the collar and gloves went in a rucksack, along with my new handbag (a latex one!) and some ballet flats and baggy combats to go home in, but will have to travel in most of the outfit. Original plan was to cover it up with the big leather trenchcoat, but it was far to warm for that, so found a thin rain coat instead. A raincoat would look a bit odd on a nice day like this, and it was shorter than the trench coat so I would have to be careful not to flash to much, my wet look stocking would be on display though, guess/hope people will take them to be leggings.

Right ready to go, one last mirror check. Ohhh, the eyeliner on my left eye has ran and the foundation around there is coming off, it’s the heat, I’m sweating Try to clean it up and re apply powder foundation, but it doesn’t look so good. Stop and redo makeup? No sod it, it will be dark in the club, people probably won’t notice.

Tube journey to Vauxhall is uneventful, and so is the walk to the club this time, phew. Undo my coat 50 metres from the club, cause, well I’m a poser Guy on the door pats down the people in front of me as they go in, but takes a look at me and just says “Can I search your bag, Miss”. Of course you can.

Tighten up corset and put accessories on in the changing area, then strut up to the stairs to the club.

It wasn’t the best night out ever, not the worst either though. No photobooth, cheap drinks ending at 11pm not 12 (OK I wasn’t there to drink, as going to the look in that outfit is impossible unless I remove most of it), bit too much industrial in the Hellfire room , poor band (A sort of industrial one, forget there name, basically was 4 very angry lads hitting their instruments very quickly and shouting) a few weird acts and a little rudeness (some young lads, who put no effort in thier outfits, noticed me at the bar and followed me to followed me around for a bit trying to get a better look before one exclaimed, “See I was right”, Oh, they’ve spotted a tranny at a fetish club, how clever of them ). Also it was rather unsociable, didn’t remember ever talking to anyone all night . But still I had a bit of a pose, had a few good dances ( a set of 80’s songs gave me flashbacks esp A Flock of Seagulls - to Grand Theft Auto Vice City ) the Whip demo was very good and got to people watch a bit.

Decided to leave around 2:30, took off most of the outfit, apart from the body suit and put on my combats and flats (Doh! I’d picked up 2 different ones, buttoned up my coat and headed for the bus station. Makeup was in a pretty poor state by then, but didn’t have the stuff one me to fix it, would have to mange as it is.

Bus takes a while to turn up, but it does eventually. Drops me off at Trafalgar square and I walk towards the other bus’s stop. Think I got a wolf whistle on the way, it was probably ironic. Am hungry, dinner was ages ago and deliberately light (due to the impracticalities of that outfit) wander around near Leicester square tube and find a little late night food place that’s doing chips, hey result, they ain’t even ridiculously over priced either.

But they are the worst chips I’ve ever tasted, I think they must have cooked them hours ago and reheated them in a microwave or something, they are like eating cardboard. Still I eat most of them. Why is all the food you can get late at night around Leicester Square all crap?

Stand at a bus stop on Charing Cross Road. Its still very busy gone 3am, passing Rickshaw riders offer me lifts, I decline and just wait. Take first bus going my way, but that one only gets me half way home and it’s another wait for Bus 3. Don’t get to bed till 4:30 am.

Saturday, doesn’t happen, just manage a late pub lunch and that’s it. Lack of hangover and still half full wallet is a bonus though, see wearing silly impractical outfits has an advantage. In the evening watch Doctor Who and Torchwood just like last week.

Sunday, well better do something, but what? End up at the British Library and the Out of this World (Check) Sci Fi exhibit, I’d been meaning to go to that for ages but never seemed to get around to it. I was more than a little impressed actually, it was better than I though it would be and spent a good hour wandering around and reading. Def recommended to Sci-Fi book fans. Buts it’s only on for another few weeks, so get there now.

Its chucking it down when I get out the library, seems I’ve run out of luck with the clouds, so pop into a pub opposite for a warm glass of Merlot (actually I like it a bit warm when it’s a cold rainy day) and some more reading.

After that, had time to waste, so just wandered up to Camden for a look around, but there’s nothing new, I had an idea about accessories for one outfit but can’t find exactly what I need, perhaps I will have to get crafty.

So that’s it for a bit, this week it wass laser time again, ouch, Ok I didn;t cry this time and they said they used a bit more power, but it still wasn’t pleasant, and my face is a mess again, hopefull it will heal in a week and I can go out again.

Another Saturday rolls around (a few weeks ago on the 6th of August), and I need a lie in, too much work, bah, oh and I did over 75 miles on the bike that week to. When I eventually crawl out of bed its nearly lunch time. Only thing planned for the day was a club night in the evening, which would require me to try and not look awful, but day time, erm. I supposed I could go out and get the shorts I wanted, I’d got this orange blouse a week or two ago and figured it would really go well with a pair of black shorts. But the only black shorts I owned where size 12 in no stretchy cotton I bought a couple of years ago. Could I still fit in them, er no the cycling doesn’t appear to be making me small again. So I had to go out and buy another pair.

Since I was just popping to the west end, to get one pair of shorts and a book, decide to do it in Ian mode, and take the bike. It was just going to be a pop to the west end anyway, turned into a bit of a trawl, finding the right pair of black shorts for reasonable money (i.e. not Top Shop prices) proved difficult but I found the right pair in a H&M on Oxford street, but on the way I somehow managed to pick up 2 tops, 2 pairs of tights, some knickers, a dress and a pair of leatherette shorts (hey, they looked cute) on the way .

Back home, let’s get cleaned up and changed. Outfit was to be that short and tight leopard print dress I got in Camden a couple of weeks ago, a bit extreme, but I had my reasons. I maybe heavier than I used to be, but don’t have much of a tummy bulge, so the dress look OK, esp with some hip padding and the larger forms. Paired it with some black tights, the killer 6″ rock start heels, long hair and quite a lot of makeup.

I wish I was thinner around the middle, but apart from that, I liked it, think I managed to fake cheek bones with makeup quite well. But as I said, it is a bit extreme, a bit draggy, but the destination to the evening was “Duckie” a gay cabaret night held in the Royal Vauxhall Tavern (in er, Vauxhall) I felt it would be OK, in fact I thought a bit draggy would suit.

But I would have to get there on the tube, so off with those heels and on with flats, and cover up most of the dress with a thin coat.

Leave the flat around 9:45, trip is uneventful, phew and get to the club around 10:10. I’m not on the guest list. Oh. Thought I might have been, you see I’d actually got invited to come, the Frantastics, a band who I’ve seen a few times where playing and they asked If I could come along and take photo’s. Oh well 6 quid to get in ins’t going to kill me. Change into my heels and dump my coat in the cloak room, get a drink and wait.

Was waiting for Andie, she had expressed an interesting in going to Duckie before and we’d agreed to meet at the club. I sip a drink and try to look inconspicuous. Which is hard, the club is a gay night and 98% of the people there are guys (who most, if not all are, I guess, gay), they are mostly dressed down, jean and stuff and a little older (30’s?) than I was expecting. I was hopping there might be a few T-girls or Drag Queens (Ok there’s was a erm, slightly usuall person working the door, tall, heels, makeup, but more sort of Adams Family than trad drag) , but not tonight I guess, but nobody seems to mind me much.

Run into Frances from the Frantastics, she apologies for the door thing, I ask her to put Andie on the list instead. Andie turns up and gets in for free, hello hun, we must stop meeting this way

We have a little chat and have a little drink before the band starts, catching up on this and that, though the music is getting a bit loud.

The place has filled right up by the time the band comes on (they are queuing to get in), I manoeuvred myself to the edge of the stage to try and get good shots, but it’s a bit of a squeeze.

The band play a short set of covers and there own tunes, I’ve heard them all before, but its still good to here them. Try to get good pics, have big cam and the 85 1.4, it’s got a bit to much zoom for this venue, but the lights good and I can crank up the shutter speed, so the pics come out sharp.

The band start playing a few cords, they think it might be the time warp, but they claim not to know the lyrics, and ask if there’s anyone who can help them. Cue the special guest…

That really is Richard O’Brien under that blonde wig, proving he really is a sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania, they do the Time Warp and a few more tunes. The crowd goes wild.

Retire to the corner of the club with Andie and another drink after that, it’s a hard work this photo lark you know, esp when its packed and I’m in 6″ heels. Sorry I deserted you during the set Andie, I was trying to get good angles for pics.

There’s a 2nd act on after the Frantastics, didn’t get the name(sorry), it’s a (very) alternative drag act, 2 queens, one as pregnant mother, the other as a nurse, there’s drugs, blood, a long cord, a baby, a fight and it all gets very messy, but in a funny sort of way It’s actually quite good, but I was near the back of the club while it was on, couldn’t get any shots in.

After the act I over hear a few guys talking nearby, one rather camp one exclaiming he hated trans people, humph! LGBT solidarity then. The fact he was doing it almost oblivious of me towering a few feet away from him was a bit odd though, it didn’t seem directed my way. Guess I must of totally passed then…. as a drag queen…

So that’s the nights entertainment, they only have 2 acts on, another drink, another chat? Try to, the music’s up now and people are dancing, and my hips want to dance to. Music is pretty good actually, modern stuff like Ladytron, La Roux and Goldfrapp, plus a lot of 80’s/90’s pop/alt/electro and indie, they practically raided my record collection

Andie say’s good night gone midnight, lovely to see you again love. I figure I’d stay a bit and dance, try to move out of the corner and dance, but the clubs a bit to crowded, no real room to move, oh and I found a guy was stroking my leopard skin, so I move back to the corner, where there’s more room, I’m clumsy enough to begin with never mind being in a tiny skirt and massive heels. Man points out the label is showing from the dress and folds it back in for me.

But the corner fills up a bit too with people dancing, the Pointer Sisters “Jump” comes on (I love that track) and I sort of end up being shown dance moves by a guy, with a group watching. I try to participate, but its erm getting to the stage where I getting more attention than I really like from men. After the song I figure its time to leave, well it was getting late anyway.

Retrieve coat, change shoes and head out into the night. Its not a bad night out really, only real negative was how crowded it was, that was far to many people for such a small venue IMHO. Oh and they don’t have a mirror in the loo (they had 2 loo’s, one for men, and one for everyone).

Right, night bus, know which ones to take from Vauxhall by now. Also know there’s no kebab shop nearby (or if there is I haven’t found it), but for some reason I didn’t fancy chips.

Bus arrives after a bit, and there’s another wait for the connection, don’t get home till 2 and look pretty rough when I get there, makeup had melted a bit But again, no hassle.

Sunday, photo processing, laundry and house work And there’s Riots in Tottenham.

Monday and Tuesday where tens, the riots spread, but not as far as my neighbourhood, locally, people tried to carry on as normal, but shops where shutting early, some boarding themselves up, buss’s weren’t going to the end of their routes and there was a definite something the air. I bought slightly more food than usual, locked the doors and stayed in. It was eerily quiet, I think every one else around my way was doing the same, not many pedestrians about, less road traffic too, and a lack of police sirens, normally you get a few every night, police tearing down the main road off to the next emergency, but not this week. I guess they where all elsewhere, if you listened really hard when it was really quiet you could just hear the sirens in the far distance.

Things where getting better Wednesday and on Thursday, it was like the air cleared a bit, shops went back to there normally opening hours. The Riots never did get to my neighbourhood, but Dalston, Camden and Green Lanes, all a mile or two away weren’t so lucky, even Angel got a little trouble.

By the time the weekend I definitely needs a change of scene, so luck Brighton Pride was on then I had got the outfit sorted and my legs shaved etc the night before, so when the alarm went at 5:30 on Saturday morning I didn’t have to much to do, but since I had to be on train by 9, it was a good thing, would I have enough time.

Erm yes, was totally ready to go out by 7:30 am! Oh, better get to the station then. Felt a little exposed. The outfit for the day was that thin slightly transparent bright orange blouse, a pair of tight fitting and rather short black shorts with a black waist belt and ballet flats, accessorised a bit. Covered it up a bit with a black cardi, but still a lot of leg was on display and that blouse was practically high vis (when I took the cardigan off). Opps. But it did look good IMHO (no photo, sorry) and orange is in at the moment.

Weather out wasn’t promising when I left the flat, in fact it started raining as I was walking to the tube Please stop, please be sunny.

Station, have some time before 8:36 train, so have a quick bio break and grab some supplies for the trip. Is it to early for wine? Yes it is, but well its Pride, so what the hell, just one small glass.

Rush to the train as soon as the platform was announced, experience has taught me trains to Brighton on Pride day are always packed, even getting a seat can be tricky if you are not quick. But I was quick and manage to grad a couple of seats to myself.

Waited for to depart, expecting the train to fill right up. But it didn’t, nope, I kept my double seat, every one else did to, train is 1/4 empty. Ermm, that’s unusual. Guess two things might of put people off, the weather (but that didn’t put people off in the past) and the money. This year they where going to charge people to go into Preston park, and it wasn’t cheap, over 17 quid I read. That’s quite a lot for well, not that much. I thing that’s what put a lot of people off.

Sip my wine, listen to my ipod/phone and let the fast train whisk me to Brighton. Need another bio break when I get there, I must be getting old.

Weather had got a bit better and I’m well early, so divert though the north lanes for a look see. I’m a bit early really for shopping, but it’s a nice wander. Stop at a trendy little café on the way to get a flat white, it’s a nice coffee, but the smiling barista handed it to me with a happy “There you go man” . Decide he’s one of these people who ends every other sentence with “man”. Some do. Well it makes me feel better.

Wander through the lanes to the town centre, hrm still got plenty of time, so have a little look around a couple of shops, New Look, Peacocks etc and Oh, I need the loo again, this is odd , and to much information, sorry. Make use of the facilities in the shopping centre.

It was getting on for 11 by then so I though I better be getting to the parade, no more shops. As I leave the shopping centre I find something rather nice has happened…. the clouds have gone and sun has come out Woot!

Make my way to the meeting point, I meeting a number of people (mostly ones I met last year) at the Harvester near the parade start (where we met last year). I’m a little disappointed nobody is there when I turn up, but I am a little early, but Sue turns up, Hi, Saffy and Tracey, Hello and Angela and Irene? (I think)

Parade gets going eventually, promptness is not its strong point, but it has other redeeming features, and it’s nice its in the sunshine. I have little cam with me this time, couldn’t be arsed to carry the big one, I’ve shot Brighton Pride many times anyway, but take quite a few pics any way.

Parade isn’t as long as it has been and I think the crowds are down, but its pleasant enough We’re all famished after that though, its def lunch time, Saffy leads us to somewhere to eat in the North Lanes (erm exactly the same place as last year, again). Vegan “bacon” BLT is erm different but I still wolf the lot We are joined by a friend of Sue, but she went off to the Park afterwards.

The park, well I would of shelled out, if everyone else wanted to go, I’m not that short of cash, but nobody else wants to. Saffy said she had heard there was going to be an alternate free even on the seafront some where, so me make our way back towards the sea.

Trouble is the seafront is rather long and we don’t know where this alternate event is. So some person (erm me actually) suggests we walk to the end of pier so we can get a good look along the beach and see if we can see it.

Trouble is I didn’t figure on the wind, its more than a bit blowy, and on the pier x3 as blowy, oh shit my hair. I have longer hair on today and the wind has been messing up all day, but its so bad on the pier I’m worried about loosing it, so I have to hold it on I look daft. The others in the group suffer less, either having far more secure hair pieces or actually have there own hair. And we can’t see anything from the pier either

But the beach is pretty empty all the way to the marina on the east side of the pier, so we guess it must be on the west side, so we go for a wander down the promenade. It’s a bit less blowy, phew.

Apart from the wind its rather nice down the prom, lots of people are about, some dressed up for pride (fancy dress etc), others just tourists. See a large number of girls sporting little shorts like me, figure I must of got something right today, but then realise the ones in shorts are all under 25 and I’m er, not.

No sign of this alternate event though. Saffy gets a phone call, she has more friends trying to meet up with us, we don’t know quite when they will get here, so we stop at a bar opposite the carousel and wait. Anybody want a drink?

Toni Louise, her partner Gemma and her friend Bex join us after a bit and we sit and chat, have a drink and soak up the sunshine and atmosphere, and Tracy and Gemma have a go on the Carousel Chatting though was proving difficult for me, was starting to go a bit shy for some reason. sorry.

Time went a bit fuzzy, kinds of lost track of hit, but eventually a plan is made to move on, Kemp Town is suggested by Toni Louise (she’s local) and we just follow. Kemp Town is nominally Brighton’s Gay Quarter I think (though 3/4 of Brighton is pretty gay), the main street was closed off today and the place full of revellers, we find a very small pub down a side street and get out of the sun for another drink or two and a chat.

Cept I’m rubbish at both of those things, manage to knock over someone’s drink (they fortunately don’t get too upset) and clam up a bit on the talking side. Oh. Sorry, again, but the others appear to be doing well and make some new friends.

After X amount of time people are feeling hungry, me included, food? Again Toni Louise leads, she knows a few places. We end up a large busy Italian Restaurant in the Lanes that looks all right, cheap and cheerful pasta/pizza, table for 9? owner says he can fit us in, but we can’t stay all night. Its not a problem food comes quickly, and its probably not the finest haute cuisine but it hits the right buttons. Cheap to

After dinner it looks like that’s it, people want to head home, me too really, tiredness is kicking in, I was up late the night before and up very early, and there’s been a lot of sun and booze and easting and walking and standing and stuff. We walk back up the north lanes, some of us heading to Station, other their car. Its got a bit cold by now, so back on with the cardi.

Station has a complex queuing system for various destinations, Sue is heading back to London also, so we go queue, hope its not like last year, big wait, slow train and still standing room only.

Erm no, its not, we walk pretty much straight to the trains, there’s a fast one departing in 10 minutes, it pretty busy, and I don’t want to share a seats with strangers, so I drag Sue all the way to the last coach to find empty seats. Sorry Sue. I’m also rubbish company and doze for most of the journey. Sorry Sue. Have to say I was actually surprised to find empty seats on the train, another sign attendance was right down this year

Sue gets off at Clapham, but I’m all the way to Victoria. Lovely to meet you all again, same thing next year perhaps, maybe they will see sense and reduce the fee for the park and I’ll try to be a bit more fun.

Roll into Victoria feeling tired, I want is a nice cup of tea, at this hour? But there’s plenty of places open still, ooohh tea for a £1 just right and its nice tea too. Jump on the tube home feeling a bit more refreshed.

Sunday, I’m on call, I’d been on call all week, but it had fortunately been a quiet one, had someone cover for me on Saturday, but Sunday there’s the usual things to do. For a change it everything doesn’t go wrong and its almost business as usual. Cept for the things I have to do at 22:30

Week feels long and hard work, can’t face cycling, can’t face doing a lot really.

But the all action weekend? Erm no. Had nothing in the calendar much, there was this Japanese Coplay/Lolita thing going on Saturday night, but I felt too old, fat and stupid looking to go that (But from I’ve seen from facebook afterwards, it was a blast…) . Didn’t really feel like doing much really, didn’t even do Helena mode, mixture of lethargy and me still having a rather nasty patch of skin from the laser/hair regrowth/me picking at it.

In the end I slept and read quite a lot, drank, ate, played games and walked a fair bit and managed to a little shopping. Complete non event really. Guess I just needed a rest. Skin started to heel up too.

This 3 weekly catch up thing has turned into 4 week thing, sorry.

Work, there’s far to much of it and far to many problems are being sent my way, when they weren’t my fault to start with, but it seems I’m the only one left who can fix them

But back to the slightly less boring stuff, Saturday the 9th, Sparkle weekend and I’m er not going. It would be a long expensive trip and although it would have been nice to catch up with one or two people I knew who where going that didn’t seem enough to justify the trip. So I stayed at home. The End. 

Well not quite, there was the Magic Theatre on that weekend too, the organisers are limited to when then can get Saturday nights at the Rivoli and this was the only that that came up, they didn’t want to clash with Sparkle, but a clash was better than nothing. Since I already had an outfit and can do the round trip to the Rivoli in Brockley for less than a fiver it would be a cheep night out and there might be non sparklers there I know.

Had to work all of Saturday morning, but I finally got as far as I could by early afternoon

I did already have an outfit for the MT though, that £10  50’s style red satin dress with black polka dots, even had all the accessories to, better try it on in the morning though, make sure it fits. It does, but hrm that belt… tried a wider one, the buckle wasn’t right, wrong period, but wide band really did look better. I’m going to have to go belt shopping aren’t I.

I knew Vivien of Holloway would have a wider 3″ belt just like my 2″ but they aren’t cheep, alternatives? Scouring the web I found a couple of cheep ones on ebay, but they wouldn’t turn up in time, but main stream retail didn’t have anything right, so erm vintage places? Well there’s plenty of them in Camden.

So off to Camden again, in Ian mode, sorry. There are plenty of vintage places and I had quite a extensive, but rapid (well as rapid as possible given the tourists) search, nope nothing quite right So in the end I went back to Holloway and got one from Vivien’s.

Time was getting on, into the bath and get rid of the fuzz. Then change and makeup, face still not right from laser, sob, will it ever heal? Cover it up with powder and paint and try and do my best 50’s look.  Didn’t turn out to bad, deserved a picture or 4

I look fat still the outfit was fairly comfortable by my going out outfit standards and should be fun to dance in and not to warm on this July evening. For travel change heels for flats, pack up gloves and petticoat into a bag, put on a thin rain coat and head towards the over ground. I’m still got the hair bow on and my seemed stockings can be seen too, but the train journey proved quite uneventful, relief.

Walk from the station towards the Rivoli, oh dam my suspender belt is slipping I don’t really have the hips for it to sit on, it was fairly low when I got to the ballroom and I think my stocking where heading for my knees, oops.

Oh I’m on the guest list? Glad I brought the camera then, better earn my freebie. Pop into the powder room to change into the full outfit and go and get a drink. Tis a bit emptier than last time, but its not deserted and there are more T-girls than I expected.

Spend the first hour or so having another drink or two, wandering around, dancing a little and saying hello to a couple of people I vaguely know before getting the camera out

Cabaret starts up, glad I have the camera ready.

We have a drag queen lip sync (me remember names, when?)

An “Austrian” David Hasslehoff impersonator/comedy act

A singer, Jenny Jane who erm, well er it’s complicated. We didn’t talk, but any one on stage IMHO is fair game for pictures.

And a good band whom I didn’t get the name of, but they have a great look (esp the lead singer, she was stunning) and sound, set was long too.

Took a number of people shots too, was a bit cheeky grabbing pics on the dance floor, but well dancing a large chunk of the Magic Theatre experience.

Put the camera down after all that, enough pics I think. Had got a bit warm too, think the petticoat was to blame, a lot of insulation in there, but I didn’t want to take it off, it would of ruined the look and it, with the big circle skirt on the dress was a lot of fun to swish around on the dance floor. Wish I could properly dance though, in some of the rock and roll numbers the dress was practically made for I had no idea where to put my feet.

Towards the end of the evening I was flagging, heat and heels had taken there toll and in the end I ducked out around 12:45, after a couple of crazy last dances to Queen and Katrina and the Waves. Go back to travel mode, off with petticoat, off with heels on with flats and coat and into the cool night air. It was a pretty good night at the Rivolli, even for a quiet one, next Magic Theatre is on Halloween, which when I went 2 years ago was a top night and packed, but I dunno, there’s so many other things on that night.

Wait for the bus. Wait a bit more, get slightly pissed off. Wait even more, bloody night busses. Wait, wait, ah finally there it is. But its only going as far as Waterloo, damm Suppose I can walk from there.

Driver decided Waterloo was to much effort and kicked us all off at Elephant and Castle Now if it wasn’t my trip to Torture Garden here a couple of months ago I would be a bit lost, but once I got my bearings, I found the still open Kebab shop and the bus stop for the bus to Farringdon, where I could change and get one all the way home. Chips and pitta are nice, get no grief from the late night revellers and the bus turns up immediately,  hey result.

But there’s another long wait at Farringdon for my bus but get home eventually, amd in bed by 3ish.

Sunday, have to work most of the day, ends up being a late one. An automated system that should work doesn’t properly so a lot of stuff has to be done manually and slowly

Monday, can’t get out of bed, massively fatigued, working all Sunday and half of Saturday hadn’t helped my general levels of rundown ness (OK the MT might of played a part too.. ) phone work and call in sick feel like crap most of the day, but manage to pop out for a bit just for a late lunch. Get home from lunch to find a card on my doorstep from DHL, they had tried to deliver one of my purchases from ebay. Dam. Called them, turns out I could pick it up from there depot after 5, hrmm, yeah lets go.

Turns out to be a hell of a trip, not helped by me feeling so rough, London Transport conspires against me and it’s a warm humid evening. Dhl depot is in the seeming endless Park Royal Industrial estate in north west London, its quite a trek to get there and back, but we got there (and back) in the end and I had my made to measure black latex cat suit.

Black latex cat suit, well it’s a bit of a personal fantasy, I mentioned it last time. Even though I was rather warm and quite tired when I got in, I had to try it on didn’t I. It fitted! Quite well too, was a touch baggy at the knees, body could be ever so slightly shorted, arms where tight and the neck a little to tight, but on the whole, I would say it was OK. But you could see where they had cut costs, it didn’t come polished and the construction was rather basic, but then again it seemed substantial enough and I could polish it up. Overall I think it was worth the money, one made in the UK might of fitted better and be slightly better made, but at 3x the cost.

One slight problem, I was drenched in sweat after wearing it for 5 minutes. Dam. But I was rather hot and bothered from the travelling and it was a (rare!) warm July night.

Tuesday, still feel like shit, and just having one day  (esp near a weekend) off looks bad anyway. Have another day of mostly doing nothing.

Back to work on Tuesday and unusually, back to Helena mode on Thursday evening. Rushed home from work on Thursday for a quick change into a pre prepared outfit. Scrape razor over face, finally the laser damage was healing, but the hair regrowth had started and that was doing new damage a couple of ingrowing hairs which had to be plucked out had left me with a couple of patches of broken skin even makeup wouldn’t cover. Dam.

Outfit was quite bold, stripey tee shirt, pinstripe suit jacket, black denim mini, black nearly opaque glossy tights and black ankle boots. Cept after walking around my flat in the boots I realised I wouldn’t make the night in them, changed into a more comfortable pair of grey ones. Reason for this was Shh, they where playing near Old Street, they’ed posted on my Facebook wall asking if I wanted to come and offered a reduced price to get in, well it had been a while since I’d seen them and it was local so I said I would come, and bring my camera.

But they where on at 8:15, early, so I was in a bit of a rush. Walk towards the tube station, oh wow, how long has it been since I’d walked on pavement in heels (the grey ankle boots had about a 3″ block heel)? Felt a bit awkward and my legs felt the effort after a mere 5 minutes

Get the train to Old Street, we are still on time good, but em which exit, my sense of direction had escaped me and I had to wander around a bit before finding the right one. And when I was wandering around I was spotted, “Hello Mate” smirked a mockney looser who seemed very proud of himself for taking the piss out of me. Ignored him and walked away, but it didn’t really do my confidence any good. Guess the combination of short skirt, my height and the above mentioned awkwardness in the heels got me noticed, and when I’m noticed I’m usually clocked, most people who do clock don’t seem to mind, its like wotever, but its often these little wan-bee cockney geezer types who seem relish humiliating me. Dickheads.

Find the venue, there’s a niceish looking bar called “The Place”, I think, but the bands are playing in the basement which is rather bare concrete. Get a drink and take test shots while I wait for the music to start.

Shh are on first, its just Diana and a laptop this time, but she gives it everything as always, I’ve never been to a bad Shh gig. I did take rather a lot of pics and tried to dance a bit too. Pics will come later, I haven’t put them on flickr yet.

There’s a bit of a lull before the next band come on, try to not look to sad and lonely, but most people there seem to know each other, and most seem to know Diana, think she invited all he London friends to the gig, most disappear upstairs to the main bar, leaving the place a bit empty.

2nd band comes on and the place gets even emptier. They are Italian and are called (i think) Superhero Looser, 3 lads with laptops and guitars and are a sort of strange experimental ambient industrial ankle gazer outfit. They  play very very loud, its rather over powering in such a small concrete space after taking pictures I have to move away, it hurts a bit. It would have been OK if the music was to my taste, but its erm, ok ish I guess, but its sort a bit of like ambient electro, but played far to loud and fast to work as background music, but it lacked beat and structure, you couldn’t dance to. I just didn’t get it.

Neither did many other people, after about 2 or 3 numbers (was hard to determine) all that was left of the crowd was about 5 or 6 people, and half where just talking photo’s. I retired upstairs after I’d got enough shots. Not sure the band noticed the crowd disappeared, they where more concerned with fiddling with their laptops or twiddling knobs on there massive racks of effects peddles.

Get another cool drink and settle in a corner in the upstairs band to review the photo’s and check email. Diana from Shh and her friends where still there, but I didn’t feel like I should try and barge in.  There was a third band on the bill for the night, but time was getting on and if they where like the 2nd they wouldn’t be worth staying out late for, so I decide to head home.

But as I leave Diana notices me and calls me over and we have a little chat, thank you. Now I know why she’s so trim, she teaches aerobics as a day job.

But I can’t stay all night, bye, thanks for another great gig, got to go find a bus. Find bus and it takes me almost all the way home, good. It drops me off virtually outside an open Kebab shop, well dinner was rushed snack at the station, so treat my self to some chips. Guy serving appeared friendly, but I think he called me Sir rather quietly

Walk home with my chips, its late for a work night. Do seem to have got the walking in heels knack back though and can stride home at a pace.

Going to work on Friday wasn’t fun, very tired.

Saturday, plans for the weekend are, erm none. I’m on call too. And it’s raining. Actually Saturday 16th was to be the day of the Spectrum picnic in Hyde park, I’d been to that before and several people I knew had planned to go, but  after the last one I didn’t feel it was my place, a few things have happened to make me feel that way. Which turned out to be a moot point, cause it was cancelled due to the rain.

So what was I going to do instead. Well it turns out I had to work. Things had gone wrong and muggings had to fix them Apart from a short trip to the local pub for lunch I stayed in all day, working, watching a DVD and playing Age of Conan (a MMORPG if you didn’t already know, its recently gone free to play (but with limitations), its worth a look if you like that sort of thing). Not a great day.

Sunday was worse, more things going wrong, more manual work to do cause the automated thingy didn’t automate and they still couldn’t fix it, and again, apart from a pub lunch, was another day spent inside work went on till 11pm.

So very much a non weekend I just told work on Monday I was having a day in lue, they owed me. I needed to get out, walk, get some air, clear my head. And had a mission. I’d been wondering where my stuff from china had got to when I got an email on Friday before from the supplying saying DHL had failed to deliver it as they couldn’t find the address. After I eventually go through to a human being a DHL I find out what’s happened, turns they go the address wrong and the parcel had been sitting in the depot for a week, I couldn’t pick it up though cause I didn’t know it was there. Eventually arranged to pick it up in person on Monday. Had to do it in Ian mode though, parcel was in his name and he had to show photo ID to pick it up.

So first think Monday I go on another trek to Park Royal, but London Transport works properly this time and I have my package by 9:30. So what to do with the rest of the day, I didn’t really know, but started walking. I walk to Westfield, it’s a fair step, but a long walk give me time to think and clear my head, plus the exercise and fresh air was a relief after being cooped up in my flat most of the weekend.

In Westfield I was actually looking for a book, but Foyles didn’t have a copy and they didn’t have a Waterstones. But High Street Ken did and they did have the latest Stephan Hunt novel I was looking for Then had lunch in Wagamama’s, looked around the West End a bit and went to the supermarket before bussing it home. Tried on my purchases when I got home and pranced around my flat a bit. Like a proper day off.

Back to work Tuesday, slightly refreshed, I would of cycled, but it won’t stop raining Week continues like that.

Saturday 23rd, and finally I weekend I don’t have to work, relief. Nope only thing planned was a trip to Camden to see Harry Potter with Louise. Lie in a bit to long, so getting ready was a bit rushed, but am out the flat by 11. Face one thing heels another pops up, bah, nasty bits take more makeup than I would like, but manage to do the rest very lightly, have been trying a light “regular” foundation from Rimmel that’s supposed to match your skin tone automatically. Its quite thin light stuff, lighter than the MAC studio tech I usually wear, but since most of my hair has been lasered off now I think I can get away with it, on unbroken or not red skin I think it looks quite good and natural, and that colour matching thing does appear to work. Hope one day my face heels up enough so I can use it everywhere.

Had arranged to meet Louise at 12:30 in the Worlds End, so I had just enough time to quickly tour my fave shops and stalls and grab a light lunch of sushi in Pret before getting to the pub. Lou is on time Hi Louise, long time no see, we get some wine, (the pub only does red, white or pink… ) and have a chat, Louise is dressed a bit rock chick (well its Camden) and is showing off her new rather large tattoo she’d had done on her arm.

We stroll over to the pictures, 2 for Harry Potter in 2d please. Since it’s the 2d version (neither me nor Lou really likes 3d) its on a rather small screen, but it will do. Like the film, the final Harry Potter book was too long and rambled a bit, it all makes more sense on the screen, I preferred the earlier books, but do think the latter films are better. But it’s a rather long flick, the seats in the cinema are uncomfortable and the audience was rather noisy in the quiet bits, Shut up!

It was a long film, but it looks like most of the market is still open so we go for a quick wander, I’m surprised Louise finds so much stuff she likes Cyberdog of all places, Lou, you old raver you.

We then retire to a pub by the canal for a drink and bite to eat, I’m not feeling hungry, well I though I was until the food arrives and I wolf most of the onion rings. We have a chat, drink, bite to eat, watch canal boats and general enjoy the sunny late afternoon in Camden.

But times getting on, I walk Lou back to the tube station, which is shut due to overcrowding so we part ways Lou goes on to Mornington Crescent, I go find the Overground, lovely to see you again Louise, thanks for putting up with me.

Home, it was a nice day and not technicayl hard work but I’m hot an tired, so its an early night.

Sunday, I’d got a behind with the house work, time to catch up

Oh gawd no excuse for not going to work on Monday, damm. Manage to cycle 3 days and come up with a solution to a problem that had been dogging our system, so not a bad week I guess. Am working Friday night though

And working Saturday morning, but not that hard, get cleaned up, face looks, hrm better than it has been for a while, so makeup is simple and light, outfit, hey its properly sunny, what everyone wearing when its sunny? Denim shorts, so many girls are walking around in them when the weather is nice, sometime bare legged, something with dark tights, sometime with leggings. Decide to partner mine with cropped leggings, balled flats, a pink teeshirt and a checked shirt, casual daytime sort of look.

What with work and stuff, its gone 11 before I’m out. Walk to tube, tube not working, so get bus to Holborn. Its lunch time by the time I’m there (my lunchtime is anytime past 12:00) so drop into All Bar One for a sarnie before tubing to Marble Arch. Lots of denim shorts about, good I appear to be on trend, and not being noticed to much (most eyes where on the 20 something girl walking up the station escalators in very very short shorts)

Was at Marble Arch for a bit of a shopping trip, refresh the summer wardrobe a bit. Ended up with, a fair bit, extra wide black flats from Evans, Tee shirt (”Nerdy Chick”), couple of blouses, couple of cardi’s, a little bling and a rain coat (It was very cool, and I don’t think this sunny spell will last long) from Primark and some tights from M&S. Was looking for a “gold” necklaces with lots of hearts and stuff on it, to replace one that fell to bits (it was from Primark…) a while back, but can’t find one that’s just right.

Oxford street is hot and heaving, shopping is hard work, think my shoes made it harder. No heels today, I was in flats, but this particular pair have a very very thin sole, it’s almost like walking barefoot, which can be nice, on grass or carpet, but hard work on concrete.

By the time I’m at Oxford circus I’m pooped, pop into the Phoenix (nice pub behind BHS) for some cool Frulli, a sit down and a couple of chapters of the current book before tubing it home, popping into Tesco on the way.

Not a bad trip out that, no negative reaction as far as I could tell, no Sir’s or “Ello Mate’s”, most shop assistants looked bored and gave me perfunctory politeness. One nice thing that happened, was trying to find some soap in the loo in the pub, both dispensers where empty, but a girl in there showed me where there was another bottle of hand wash and squirted some onto my hands for me. Which was rather nice really, you would never get that in the gents. One advantage of shopping in the West End is the sheer diversity of the people there,  I don’t feel absurdly tall, in fact I don’t seem to stand out that much at all (well I probably do, but if I am being comented on, its not in English).

I did have a plan for the evening, Prom Night, which was being held at the near by Buffalo Bar, just a local cheep night out to dance to some 80 tunes. But I couldn’t manage it, was hot and tired again, I don’t seem to be able to manage a day and a night out in Helena mode these days Though I’m blaming the weather, work and cycling for running me down a bit, but those drinks and silly shoes don’t help either

Next week, hrm better try and go out…
 

Catching up again, back to the 16th of June, Work!

 Work want something done now which should have been carefully thought about, planned and prepared. But it has to be Now! So get the ball rolling, it’s going to be a long one. Stress levels where fairly high when I left work. It didn’t help that I had an appointment for Laser straight after.

Took pain killers, drank beer, ate chocolate, the usual things I try to do to deaden the pain from laser, didn’t help much, hurt like hell. Was also worried about this one, the damage from the last one hadn’t fully healed, but that mostly my fault. The Laser Operator scolded me for picking away at the scabs and spots the damage leaves behind, I know I should just let them heel, but I can’t help it. Trouble is makeup won’t work on a scab, so every weekend, they have to come off.

Came out of the laser sessions feeling cooked, went home, checked work, drank some more, went to bed. Friday I had a day off, I didn’t want to go into work with laser face, (Can’t have the laser after work Friday cause they don’t open late). But there’s still work to do, login to work and check and balance things, then go to look at a flat.

You see I’d got a letter offering me an opportunity to put a offer in for a part buy part rent flat, it looked like a good deal. Chance I would get the offer accepted was slim to none though, as they prioritised people living in Camden, and I don’t (though sometimes it seems like I do) but I though I should check it out on the off change. Flat was 2 bedrooms, near Swiss Cottage (Zone 1!), and was surprisingly affordable. Ah that’s why it’s affordable, the block backs on to the main line out of Euston, ah, erm no thanks. Walk back towards home over Primrose hill sending texts to a work colleague explain to him how to continue the work.

Continue through Camden, well I’m here so I might as well look at the shops Find a 50’s style dress, red satin and black polka dots in a sale, reduced form £50 to £10, they only have sizes 16 and 22 left, but the 16 looks about right, I’ll have that Tried it on a home, zip is very fiddly, but it works, needs some accessories though.

Another flurry of texts is sent over lunch, looks like I’ll have to go home and sort things out Initially can’t sort things out, until I realise what I was doing was futile and tried a different approach. Ahh everything’s good now, right start the next phase.

Saturday, have to work all morning But things get there in the end, I think we are done. Right, shopping, I would of done it in Helena mode, but laser face prevents shaving or makeup, so Ian has to do it. Holloway first to pick up a retro belt, woman serving in Vivien of Holloway doesn’t blink when I say its for me, and when she notice my waist line suggest I need a medium not a large, which is nice still went with the large. Then back to Camden to pick up some seemed stockings and a large black petticoat. And we have an outfit It’s the sort of thing I’ve wanted to wear to the Magic Theatre, but the next one clashes with Sparkle Actually my Sparkle plans where still undecided at that point anyway

Sunday, loads of shit falls over at work, and there’s laundry to do and stuff as well, not fun. Things that ran all Friday/Saturday start running again cause a couple of software switches hadn’t been put in the right position (Consultants fault ) Damm. Crap weekend really

Monday isn’t much better either, things are still running, login at 5:30am at home, and stay on till 6pm But that’s it done, the horror is over.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, try to make sure things are stable, cause Friday I’m on Holiday

I’m having a week and a day off, my summer holiday But I’m not going anywhere, have no real plans and still have a very red and damaged face from laser, oh well try to make the best of it. At least it’s not work

Friday, try to lie in, fail, up to early, damm. But I’m a bit excited. It was club Antichrist tonight and it was going to be a little different. Previous trips where marred a little by me going straight after work, often in a ludicrously impractical outfit and getting very tired and footsore way before the end of the night. But this time, no work and I’d chosen an outfit with sensible shoes and no corset or latex In fact it was basicallythis one, but with kitten heel Mary Jane’s, a slightly smaller collar thingy and a proper top hat instead of the mini one (Well I though it fitted the nights circus theme better)

Sort of laze away the day, have a long bath and defuzz then attack the face with the razor for the first time in over a week. Actually there’s not a lot to shave, laser had taken an awful lot out, the fine re-growth that happened since the previous session appears to have been mostly disintegrated and even most of the course old hair went to only leaving the odd few, I’m only really left with noticeable hair around the mouth and under the nose and even that’s not that dense. Good result Well sort of, a lot of specs of hair was left embedded in my face, and several spots and red sores had formed, that plus the damage from the previous session meant my face was a bit of a mess.  Have to plaster quite a lot of makeup on to cover it all up. One reason for the laser treatment was I would need to use less makeup, but it’s not currently working that way at the moment.

Am ready in plenty of time, but don’t do a photoshoot, this outfits already been shot. Have the usual logistical problem of getting such a silly outfit to the club on public transport, but a big coat covers most of it, and the petticoats and top hat went in a rucksack.

Out the house at 9, it’s still light and I look a “touch” silly, curly platinum blonde hair, leather trench coat with lace cuffs poking out the cuffs and opaque white stockings on my legs. But its Friday night in London, anything goes. And it does, until I get out of Vauxhall tube, its raining lightly, so I put my brolly up and walk towards the club. Some lads, not sure what they looked like, I didn’t pay them any attention must of noticed me. One shouts “That’s a MAN” and keeps repeating it, loudly and angrily (Why so angry? it’s not like it impacts on his life in any shape or form what I am). Head down, walk quickly away, it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

Walk towards the club a touch shaken, its still light, just, this was part of the plan, I wanted arrive at the club and daylight, stay all night a and leave in Daylight again. It was a challenge, I’ve never done that before, stayed out that late. It helped that this was the 24th of June, 3 days from the longest night, sun went down about 9:45 and came back up again around 4:45, so it wasn’t that a long a night

Into the club, go up to the desk and Hi, I’m Helena Love, I’m on the guest list. Yep, Guest list I’d volunteered to “Usherette” for an hour at the club, which involved walking around with a tray handing out sweets and condoms. I hour wandering around for free entry sounded like a good deal (its £20 or more to get in) and it could be fun. In, change into the full outfit and head up to the club.

Club’s not fully open yet, but they let us though half of it to get to the cloak room and use the loo’s instead of locking us up in the first bar like before, much better. Hang around till ten then go down to fetch my usherette tray (My shift was 10-11, first of the night)

It didn’t help that I was referred to as a “Gentleman” by the woman on the ticket desk I had to collect the tray from but here we go. Started to wander around with just the tray, so people would just take sweets if they wanted one, like most Usherette’s an Antichrist seemed to do, hrmm, not many takers, how about I be a bit more proactive…. Started walking up to groups of people sitting or standing around, doing a little curtsey and presenting the tray to them, many sort of looked at me as if I was a bit odd (no I’m not a bit odd, I’m very odd ;)) but then there eye’s lit up when they saw the tray was full of sweets for the taking. Tried to offer virtually everyone sweets, girls (unless they where really skinny) where usually the keenest, but even some of the crustiest blokes in black with faces full of metal where really up for a free lollipop :).  So I managed to at least engage with people a bit, also had to give directions to the cloak rooms and so on too. Later on in the shift it proved a little harder to give the stuff away, since I’d virtually approached everybody once already, and the entertainment had started, free sweeties can’t compete with people taking there clothes off, but It was fun, deff worth doing. Actually I quite like having a little job to do on a club night as it keeps me busy, lets me interact with people  and make me look less sad and alone, its usually taking photo’s but the sweet handing out had a similar feeling.

After usheretting I got another drink and went to see what was on. The first band I saw where Mechanical Cabaret, Have seen them before at Bedsitland and enjoyed them, but they had problems with the sound at AC and it didn’t really click, still there number Disbehave got quite a few of us dancing). The other band was Shanklin Freakshow bit more of a performance, they had Joker makeup and had nearly naked dancing girls on stage, but where merely OK musically IMHO. Didn’t manage to catch many of the other acts, one with someone eating glass wasn’t to my taste, the other with an odd girl in latex pouring food over herself and stuff. Sometime acts at Fetish clubs can be too weird for there own good.

Other than that, drinking (not to much), dancing a bit music when the music took me (UV lights worked on my outfit so well, I glowed :)), wandering around and people watching, have a peek at the dungeon, but it’s not my scene really. But by about 2 I was flagging, was hot and tired, tried to go out into the outdoor smoking area to cool off, but it was freezing out there, colder than in April Didn’t think I was going to make it through the night, damm.

But after bio break, makeup touch up and the removal of my arm warmer thing’s, cuffs and gloves I felt a lot better, got my 2nd wind and got back to dancing. A few tracks really got me moving in the Hellfire room, but it wasn’t quite right, hrmm what’s missing, ah yes the cuff’s, put them back on, you need lacy cuffs to fling around to Goth music Flung them about a bit to much and knocked somebodies drink out there hand as they passed me (from behind, didn’t see them). Apologised profusely and offered to buy them another drink, but she said she was fine Was more carefully with the flinging about after that.

Complimentary tea and biscuits at 3am helped keep me going and around 4 am I found my self in the PFI (Pure Fucking Industrial) Room jumping around like a loon trying to grab the red laser and being showed by sparks by a girl in stockings using an angle grinder on a steel bar. Normally Industrial isn’t really me, too repetitive and relentless, but the DJ had gone a bit Hard House, there was some proper vocals,  a hint of a melody and some wiggly TB303 bits and I could use that.

Came out of PFI around a quarter past four feeling a touch erm odd, but sort of happy and maybe even a bit euphoric? Is this how ravers feel? The chill out bar has windows that look over the Thames and I could see it was getting lighter, think we can make this. Have a last drink, one last wander around and one last dance and its gone 4:30, time to go.

Retrieve bag from cloak room and go to the loo to change back into travel mode. Cuffs, stockings, petticoats and hat go in the bag, coat on and little beret goes on head (well its still raining a bit), right back into the night.

Except its not night, its 4:45 when I leave and the sun is up (just), done it, stayed out all night Don’t even feel particularly rotten, not drinking to much and wearing a fabric dress with low heels helped with that (lots of 20’s something GG’s where dancing in there stockings and carrying their heels by 3am). Feel quiet proud of myself really, well I guess it’s an achievement at my age But really it’s me still trying to cling onto youth and do the things I should of done in my 20’s.

Was a little nervous walking back to the bus station though, after what happened with the angry lad earlier, but guess most of that sort of man would be asleep by now. But it was OK, think I got a wolf whistle (probably ironic) from a van driver and that was it. Hey there’s a bus, totter to the stop, jump on, bleep my Oyster and we are off towards Trafalgar Square (it seems like half of all night busses go to Trafalgar Square).

Still feeling pleased with myself on the bus, another thing that raises a smile is the fact it goes right past the Houses of Parliament and Westminster Abby on the way to Trafalgar Square, its somehow ironic after that night of alternative decadence.

There’s little traffic so the bus can motor, its nor even 5 by the time I get off. Hrmm I’m hungry, is there anything still open? In fact is anything about to open? Its morning isn’t it. Vaguely recall the big McDonalds on Leicester Square opens at 5am, ooh yes, I really fancy an Egg McMuffin. McDonalds isn’t open when I get there, but the lights are on there’s activity inside and there’s a queue outside. Yes a queue at 5am, they all look like young revellers who have been out all night and want food. Decide to wait a bit.

Maccy D’s opens a bit late at 5:10 and I get my McMuffin, hash brown and large coffee, guy serving is very smiley and far to happy for this time in the morning. Walk towards my bus stop at Piccadilly circus eating my breakfast, this area’s been quite sketchy sometimes when I have been returning from AC, lots of drunks about, but now, in the very early morning, its actually quite pleasant Bus takes a while to turn up, but I have my coffee. Get home just before 6, clean up and crash at 6:30am. That was a long day.

Wake up mid afternoon, feeling, well not as bad as I usually do after AC, there was another thing on that night, Chicks Rock at the Oak Bar, not far, but nah, don’t feel up to it, read for most of the rest of the day. Also updated Windows and virus scanned the PC thoroughly.

Sunday, didn’t plan to do much, so I just go for a walk, in Ian mode, turns out to be a very long one, West End, Camden and back to Angel via the canal before hitting the Supermarket and jumping on a bus home. Spent the rest of the day web shopping, I’d got my annual bonus from work the week before and was plenty flush. Most as usually was earmarked for the savings account (Which looses me money these days, Bloody bank of England base rates) but I had some spare for spending on impractical clothing.

Initial plan was for an expensive Libidex latex cat suit and corset all made to measure. But surfing around I found some sites doing made to measure stuff a lot lot cheaper. But it was all made in China. Would the quality be good enough, would I even get what I ordered and would it be made in a sweat shop? Ethical grounds aside, I reasoned that even if the quality was less than the UK hand made stuff, how good did it need to be considering the amount of wear I would get out of it? In the end I went for it, saving me hundreds of pounds, possibly. We will see when it arrives; it could be a false economy.

But it was made to measure, and that meant I had to measure and weigh myself. That was… Traumatic. My waist is up to 34″ and weigh 13 stone 4. Sob at my thinnest I was 10 stone 7 and 29.5″ waist. Fat bastard here had put it all back on. I need to try and work it off again, exercise wise I appear to be doing OK witgh the cycling etc, but it’s the eating and drinking (booze) than I can’t seem to control properly Perhaps this might work as encouragement.

But since I’d measured myself, and only spent a fraction of my budget, why not get some other stuff. So a fair bit of time Sunday night and Monday morning was spent web shopping (Felt secure after the virus scan on Saturday), I ended up with another made to measure catsuit (shinny lycra though), 3 dresses (one fetish, one regular, one Lolita), a bodysuit (again shinny lycra made to measure link) and a number of  accessories (stockings, gloves, a waistcoat and a bustle). Spent quite a bit, but I had it to splash Only two things I couldn’t find, a pleated  sort of Goth/Steampunk that was just right and a particular dress on ASOS.com, which I saw on Saturday, but had sold out by Sunday.

Its Monday already? I’d worked out a rough plan for the week over Sunday, initial ideas for trips to New York or Berlin where rejected with some more easily achievable things, a bike ride, snowboarding, trip to the seaside, shopping day out etc. Monday was to be the seaside day, weather was lovely, shame to waist it. But I did, face felt to rough for light daytime makeup, but didn’t feel like doing it in Ian mode. Overslept anyway. Ended up just going for another long walk and reading. Meh.

Tuesday, Oh lets at least try and do something, fight the Meh, Manage to drag myself to Milton Keynes and go snowboarding. Turned out to be a good session, snow was good, slope was quiet, and there was even freestyle stuff out to play on (did manage to forget to bring some stuff though). But it had been 4 months or more since I’d ridden, it took a while to get back some confidence, but did manage to carve, ride switch and practice my ollies and flat land tricks a bit. But the freestyle stuff? One rail and one box where out, both beginner level ones, with a snow ramp in front to ride up. Should be easy? Well yes, but if you fall off one of them, ouch.

Towards the end of the session I forced my self to try the box. First attempt, far to slow and cautious, got stuck half way along the box, doh. But 2nd time I slayed it, woot Not exactly the most difficult piece of freestyle riding in the world, but it felt good to have done it. Went home happy

Wednesday, face still manky, weather looking dodgier, and I had another lie in. So erm, Bike ride? Yeah why not, peddled down to Brick lane for lunch (nice it was too), then over to Mudchute (lovely name) to the Greenwich foot tunnel. Lift down to the tunnel was under repair, damm, had to carry the bike all the way down the steps. Lift on the other side was under repair to, double damm, had to carry the bike all the up. After that, Lewisham, Brockley (There’s the Rivoli :)) big hills (In south London, didn’t knew they had any), Dulwich (OMG how posh?) then back to London Bridge, City, Angel, Highbury and finally the local Must of peddled for 3 hours, but it felt good. Legs felt stiff next day though.

Thursday, face get better please? Decide to leave it another day, so Ian again, sort a few things out, wander around the west end then go to Westfield to watch Transformers (couldn’t face West End cinema prices). Another non day really. Buy loads of booze and junk food on the way home.

Friday, 1st of July 2011, My Birthday oh gawd I’m 43. How did I last this long? Had to try and do something today, Bedsitland was on in the evening, but I wanted to make a day of it, a Helena day to, face, I decided, was good enough, shave (have bugger all to shave off, even after a week) light makeup and throw on some jeans, a shirt, belt and low heel boots, casual daytime look.

So what to do , well I’d promised myself a shopping day, but well I’d bought most of what I wanted off the net and I’m now bored of Camden and the West End. But I still wanted a gothy steam punkish skirt, hrm,. Where to get one? Birmingham? Well it would be different, its only an hour and 20 on the train and I hadn’t been there for oh, 5 years? And its all shinny and new in the centre now? Plus didn’t they invent Heavy Metal in Birmingham? there must be sort of Alt/Goth/Metal clothes shops there.

Was umming and erring it until I pushed the card into the ticket machine at Euston. Train is packed, but the Virgin trains always seems to be in standard class, perhaps this has something to do with the fact they have so few standard class coaches and to many first class? First class carriages that on a weekday is used by business people who can afford it cause they claim it all back on expenses. Iphone tunes and book make journey more bearable.

So Birmingham, I’d found a list of alternative shopping area’s to look for this skirt, but had the whole day to explore. Hey they’s a shopping mall attached to the station, first shop I look is a bit sort of emo/alternative and hey there’s almost the perfect skirt, already! But they only have one and its size Small/Medium. I’m not even medium anymore these days:( Figure I’d find one that fitted elsewhere.

Carry on out the centre via New Look (Weee a sale :)) and follow Iphone Sat Nav to my first planned destination. It’s called Oasis, a sort of little indoor Market for alternative clothes, vintage, record shops and so on, sort of like a smaller version of Affleck’s Palace in Manchester. There’s 2 or 3 little stalls/shops selling Gothy type stuff, but none have the right sort of skirt. But have a good wander around before leaving. As I’m going back to the ground floor I pass  bunch of lads, one exclaims, “I swear that woman’s a man”. Clocked and I’m dressed down and everything. Damm. Even on the way from the stations I’d noticed I’d been getting looks and this was the confirmation I really wasn’t passing today.

My next port of called was “The Rag Market”, but it was a fair walk away back through the shopping centre. Detour a bit, popping into shops and so on, have a good look around the big Selfridges and even take a few photo’s

Well the Birmingham Selfridges is a fairly spectacular building.

Do still seem to be getting the looks, is it cause of my height, I swear I never saw anybody who came past my eye level all day, even the men, feel a bit freakishly tall and I’m only in 1″ heels.

Takes a while to find this Rag Market place, but we get there in the end, It’s a conventional covered Market, fruit and veg, meat, clothes, lingerie, haberdashery, all sorts on little stalls. There is a few places selling racier clothes and/or Fancy dress, have a look, but nothing grabs. There’s a few Markets in the area, linger a little just wandering around, hey I like markets.

So what next? The last place on my list or lunch. I had a snack on the train, so erm, next place. The web site made it sounds like a sort of alternative art/retail place and was only “600 paces” from the centre. It was called “The Custard Factory”, well the name was good. Felt a lot more than 600 paces though, perhaps they have long paces. The area it was in was well outside the shinny new centre, and frankly a bit run down and though initially it looked promising, it proved to be a bust. It was mostly empty a few shops, a café and an art installation, but a lot of empty units. Bugger. Didn’t even fancy the café for lunch.

So now what? Check the map and ponder, well there’s china town, not to far away, and hrm, checks google, oh that’s the gay quarter (one street apparently), well if I go down there, then there then there, I can do both. And there must be somewhere for lunch.

The walk there takes me through some industrial areas (a lot look deserted), a bus station and past an estate agent. OMG look at the prices of the flats, SOB

Find a nice looking bar “The Angel” on Hurst Street (the gay quarter with rainbow flags and everything) and order a veggie burger and a glass of wine. It is a nice bar and the staff are friendly, wine and burger is good too, feel better for that.

Walk out of the bar refreshed, 2 builders spot me, one exclaims to the other, “That’s a bloke”. mood bubble is popped.

Carry on back to the shopping centre, thinking it’s about time to go. Problem with shopping is most of the places are so generic and the shops all chains that you really could be anywhere. Have one last wander around, pick up some chocolate from Hotel Chocolate, hey I bought something.

Back in the shopping centre in front of the station I take another look at the skirt I saw first. Well its in 2 parts, there’s a pleated bit that’s elasticised and a suspender belt the thing over the top that’s got corset style laces on it, hrm, it might fit. Decide to risk it and hand over cash. Strange man approaches me while I’m shopping and asks if there is any thing worth buying. He doesn’t look like this stores normal customer, too old (I can talk). I mumble something and move away.

Also find another basic black pleated skirt in Select 10 meters away, size 14 and on sale for 6 quid too. Get that too. Hey result. Tried them on back home, first skirt fits, yes had to undo the laces on the belt quite a bit though. 2nd skirt zip’s stuck, (even before I try it on) try to force the zip and it breaks. Bugger.

Get some more snacks for the Journey home (inc a little bottle of wine :)) and there’s a train just about to depart, run, make it. But all the seats appear to be reserved or taken lack of standard class seats, again.

Sit on the floor in the companion way by the carriage door until after we stop at Coventry, then go for another look around. Well there’s a pair of seats, reserved, but no ones sitting on them. The next stop is Milton Keynes, 45 minutes away, so if no ones on them now and no one can get on for forty odd minutes then they are mine So the journey back isn’t to bad. Relinquish them at MK, but its not far from there.

Back to London, buy some eye liner in Boots (forgot that in Brum), some food and head home.

Am tired, warm and slightly dejected when I get in, there’s still Bedsitland tonight, but I need a rest. Disrobe a bit, set alarm and have a snooze.

Didn’t set the alarm right and over sleep, its gone 8pm, damm. Can I still go out? What will I wear? Rush around a bit, clean up, try to find something to wear, everything makes me look fat or rubbish or will require a body shave and would still look bad after that, face looks crap to, would need to be re done and, oh, I just can’t be arsed. Feel old and stupid and tired and ugly and crap and just can’t be arsed.

Decide just to stay in, in my pyjamas, with only a bottle of Rose for company :(  great birthday. 

Saturday, feel a bit better. Right I want to go out tonight instead, but there’s nothing on, Oh there is London Pride, but nah, it was crap last year. What else, calendar is very empty, but notice a post from The Frantastics on Facebook, they are planning the Wayout. Gawd I haven’t been to that den of iniquity for years, so go there, for old times sake and see that band? Yeah Ok, maybe.

But what to wear? Failed to find anything clubby I liked last night, what I wanted was that ASOS dress I failed buy, tight, slash neck, short, tight and black with billowy chiffon sleeves. Hit the web, find a good one, very similar on Ebay, cheep to, but it would never get here in time, need retail. Googling and I find the dress in KRISP, in the sale too, result so where’s the nearest branch, erm Wood Green? Ok lets get on the tube. Ian mode, save the face for tonight.

Takes me a while to find the shop in Wood Green. Probably wasn’t helped by the fact the shutters on it where down, guess it had closed down Bah! Look around the other shops, there’s several independent fashion retailers  (or just one with lots of outlets near each other, they all have very similar stock) around that might have something. They have something. Black floaty with diagonal stripes alternating between solid and transparent mesh. Nah not enough coverage.

So what now. Remember there’s another RISK shop at Stratford, would that still be open? Only one way to find out, get on the bus, then the train.

Feel confident going in to the Stratford shopping centre (which soon will be a ghost town with charity and pound shops when enormous Westfield Straford next door opens), there’s KRISP, and its open, and search, search, search, the dress cept they only have size 10, and its sort of backless, which wasn’t apparent on the web. I don’t do backless for erm personal reasons. Dam. Search around the other shops, but nothing grabs. If I go out tonight it will be have to be something I already have.

Train home, via pub for late lunch. Right what to wear, dig out dress I got last year, sort of grey/taupe, but a similar style to the one I wanted, very tight and stretchy, but with floaty chiffon sleeves. Last time I tried it on it wasn’t flattering, I was to fat and the lumps showed. That was last October, could I wear it now? One way to try, I didn’t feel thin, but put it on. Oh, not to bad, have to be careful with the underwear, any lines show, not bumpy, think I can do this pair it the black tights, black studded high heels, big black bangles and a little black heart pendant.

On with the slap, heavy evening mode, still have a fair bit of red skin which needs to be covered up, then big hair and let’s take a few photo’s

Face needs some touch up still. I need a face lift. Or a whole new face. Boobs look way to high, they probably where, but I was leaning back a bit to stop the dress from wrinkling (and sucking in my tummy to try and stop me looking fat)
Its cheaper for Tgirls to get into the Wayout before 11, so get ready to leave around 10. How to get there? Bus/Bus via Dalston or Bus/Tube/Tube via Bank, hrmm, decide to take which every bus gets to my stop first. The Dalston one gets here first, so we are going that way. Bus journeys are painless, pass through Dalston and Shoreditch, they are heaving with Saturday night revellers, but the City’s quieter.

Into the club 10:45, get my reduced entry and free “Cocktail” ticket. Oh it’s a bit quiet, put my heels on and go to the loo to check makeup etc. Oh there’s Philippa, Hi, and so Penny must be around, ah there by the bar, Hi. Well I might not be totally alone. Get my “Cocktail” (virtually alcohol free, but tastes OK) and we chat a bit, get approached by a man after a bit, I go quiet and let Philippa do the talking. Man thinks I’m very shy, well I am, but I also wanted rid of him.

Andie walks in. OMG What are you doing here? The Wayout was the last place I expected to see her, turns out she had come to see the band too. Nice surprise though, she joins us and we move to the quieter part of the club for a chat.

Leave the girls every now and then, just to see if anything else is on, have a dance, check my makeup or to get another drink. Yes I had a few, but I calculate a single spirit with mixer has the same amount of alcohol as half a pint of 4% lager, so even 6 of them over several hours isn’t going to get me plastered, and I rarely have more than 4. The Coca Cola mixer is probably doing damage to my waist line though.

Wandering around the Wayout, well a couple of things have changed, but a lots the same, ah yes that older girl with no makeup/boobs, going to dance oddly by her self, yep, that girl dancing on the podium, is she going to remove her skirt to show an 8 strap suspender belt and stockings? Yep, Is that very tall girl going to stand exactly there by the bar all night and only chat up blokes and sneer at other T-girls, Yep, is there going to be a gaggle of South East Asian TS going to gather over there, Yep, Are those male admirers dressed like Taxi Drivers going to prop up the bar with a pint leering at the girls all night, Yep. Haven’t been to the club for oh 2 years? But a lot of exactly the same people are doing exactly the same thing they did last time I was here. Sigh.

But a couple of things have changed, the music for one, no Its Raining Men, its lots of Lady Ga Ga now and OMG, the DJ has learnt to mix records into each other, instead of playing long intro’s you can’t dance to, that’s good Also I think the general standard of T-girl has gone up a bit, there’s more with there own boobs and hair than I remember from before (I can’t comment if they where “working girls” or not though), I feel a bit rough and old in comparison, tall too, which is unusual, I used to feel almost short at the Wayout, but now I’m towering over plenty of people.

Time passes and the club fills up, we expect the band to be on at 1am, but that doesn’t look like its happening and Andie increasing looks tired and unhappy, she’s not really comfortable here I think, she decided to go before the band starts. Lovely to meet you again Andie, but maybe leave all this Tranny crap to us crap Trannies, and see you again in the real world some time OK

Band comes around 1:20-130, I’ve probably said this before but I’ll repeat it, Musicians are always late, Trans people are always late, Trans musicians live in a different time zone to the rest of us. They are a good band, but it’s a short set, the sound is poor and I dunno if it’s a good fit for the club, but people are dancing towards the end of the set

You might have noticed there are no photo’s of the Wayout, that’s cause I didn’t bring my camera, well I’ve took pictures here before and everyone else had a camera anyway.

Have one last dance after the band finishes and decide to call it a night, heels are killing me and I have to be somewhere Sunday morning. Move to the base of the stairs (For anyone who hasn’t been there, the club is 2 stories underground) and change into my flats before leaving. And get hit on. Ok he’s polite and tries to be friendly, but he doesn’t seem to get the message I’m not interested and am leaving even though I pretty much blank him. Hrm, last time I was at the Way Out I seem to remember I got hit on as I left too, another thing that hasn’t changed. I guess they approach you as you are going so they don’t have to bother with conversation/dancing/buying you a drink thing, stay classy admirers

He doesn’t follow me past the first landing, phew. There’s no queue for the Taxi’s this early, so jump in a mini cab home. Well that’s the Way Out done for another couple of years.

Sunday, have to make sure all makeup has gone cause I’m off to visit the family, in Ian mode of course. Loads of my family have birthdays at this time of year, there’s usually a big barbeque at my parents, but this time it’s a first birthday party for my (one year old obviously) niece at my sisters place. It’s more than a bit awkward, grandparents in one part of the house, young parents in another part and garden full of young kids and me sort of lost in the middle. Overhear my sister apologies to one of her friends husbands about the few number of men there for him to talk to, then she said added , “Oh well there is my brother, but he doesn’t really count”. Well that’s family duty done for another couple of months.

Next week, its Sparkle 2011 and erm, well I’ve decided I can’t be arsed, not many people I know are going and when I go I tend to spend most of my time away from the festivities anyway going to clubs, restaurants or shopping, and well I can do that in London. Plus add in the hotel bill and train fare and I didn’t think it was worth it. Guess the general malaise I have about me at the moment influenced my decision somewhat as well.

But there is the Magic Theatre on instead, so I think I’ll go to that.

Sorry this is so late, again. 3 week mega waffle catch up follows…

Dull week at work (last week of May), but do manage to get the bike out a couple of times, plan now is to use the bike every day the weather is OK (i.e. not raining or really windy) until September, will ride to the station in the morning, train to Watford the ride to the office, that’s 4-5 miles depending on route, and ride all the way home, that’s around 20 miles (argg, GPS’ed it today, its only 19). That should shift a bit of fat (again GPS app says no ), if I don’t stuff my self with food and booze the moment I get home….

Friday I have a tail wind (a rare event) and traffic and the lights are good to me, so it’s a very fast one. Up to Camden anyway, where I have to stop 16.8 miles, 1 hour 8 minutes, av 14.8 mph). There’s a reason for this, socks. I’d been checking my outfit for the weekend (a Japanese School girl uniform and, yes, there’s a good reason for that) during the week and had to do an emergency hand wash on part of the blouse (it had a makeup stain) and the white socks I wanted to wear with it. White socks never seem to come really clean, so I wanted a new pair, and were to get white over the knee socks on a Friday afternoon, Camden of course. Had to look around a little, it was easier to find wild stripy ones than plain white, but find them in the end, £2.99. Try them on when I get home and think I prefer the old pair better, oh well.

Saturday, lets get ready. It the MCM expo today at the Excel centre, I went last year in regular Helena wear and felt a little out of place, a felt I missed an opportunity, there where so many Cosplayers I wanted to join in, so this year, the Sailor Fuku came out. Bathe/shave, nasty bit on face had started to get better but other parts have broken out and there’s been some grow back since the last laser. Cover it up the best I can with slap. On with the outfit, wear thin tights under the skirt and socks, don’t like to show bare legs and put on a old black wig, I do prefer my blond ones, but black seemed to go with the outfit. Finished it off with some kitten heel Mary Janes.

Right so how to do I get to docklands dressed like this? Rain was forecast, so rain coat will work. Cept it’s not raining, there’s bits of sun poking through the clouds, and even with the coat, the over the knee socks can be seen, and this wig isn’t the most natural Feel rather daft, far more daft than usual. Hrmm, should be OK in the morning, fewer people about, morning people tend to be politer too (my personal observation) so I might get a way with it, but travelling back like this in the afternoon/early evening, yikes. Pack a bag with anonymous jeans and top and blonde wig, my get me home outfit.

Get moving, feel very silly sitting at the bus stop, and on the tube to bank, but nobody seems to pay me much attention,, phew. And at Bank station things got better, cosplayers, loads of them, felt less silly now there’s a crowd, follow the Bank labyrinthe to the DLR platform and get the next train. Unbutton my coat.

DLR is rammed with cosplayers by the time we get to Excel, so think I’m in the right place. Need to ditch my coat and bag I think, I’ve heard there’s a cloakroom, but where?

At this point I run into Pandora and her girl friend, Pandora isn’t totally herself at this point, she’s Garterbelt and her girlfriend is Stocking! From Panty, Stocking and Garterbelt, a cult Japanese anime series, noted for its rather low brow humor. Its on youtube check it out if you don’t believe me. Say hello and ask for directions to the cloakroom, ah downstairs, thank, see you later

Queue for cloakroom then pop into the loo to check face/hair etc. its all OK, but I’m starting to feel rather old, most the cosplayers are teens/20’s, I’m old enough to be there mum. Oh well, lets get on with it, better get a ticket for the show. Hope the ticket purchasing is better organised than last year.

It isn’t. SOB They have one hall of Excel devoted to getting your tickets, with a massive queuing system that loops around and around, being marshalled by loads of expo helpers before you finally get to the ticket booth, where there are about 6 people working, Bah, it took about an hour to finally get my ticket!!!! Here’s a hint excel, instead of having 30+ people marshalling the crowds, and 6 selling tickets, have 30 people selling tickets, and then you will only need half a dozen marshalling them, and everyone gets there ticket quicker. Note to self, get an advance ticket next time.

After I’ve got my ticket, well actually wrist band, which had to be attached to my wrist by a staff member, I don’t want to go into the show, I’m hungry, it’s well gone lunch time. There’s a huge queue ( now don’t want to queue for anything ever again) at the noodle stand (well its on theme), so make do with a sandwich and stuff from a little shop. Eat it and spill some water on my self in another hall they have opened up, for people to have picnics in and so on.

Right show proper, what’s it like then? Pretty much the same as last year, touch small and disappointing really, well for the ticket price and for the hassle of getting a ticket anyway. Still I toured the lot, looking at this and that, snapping a few photo’s. Like the steam pink stall.

There wasn’t much on sale that really caught my eye, so left the hall after a good tour and went hunting cosplayers

Bit cold and windy outside, near the river a gust caught my skirt. Kept my hand on it after that when I was outside. As well as all the cosplay groups there was also a jumbo screen showing film and anime trailers and a little live stage with bands and singers on

Find Pandora again in a Panty, Stocking and Garterbelt cosplay photo session, grab a snap or two and say hello Was looking for someone else, Mary-Ann, girl I’d met at the FoS and kept in touch over facebook, she said she would be here, but I couldn’t find her.

Keep wandering around, shooting and watching, one or two even ask for my pic, I oblige, but really I don’t stand out that much, the costume is rather plain and generic really, and would look much better on someone half my age, “. Better try and make more of an effort next time. I think the few people who wanted my pic was for “novelty” value, but it was friendly and guess, cause I’m in a costume I think people mind less I’m trans, only really heard one “Is that a bloke” type exclamation all day. Saying all that I still felt old and rather tall, but there’s nothing I can do about that.

There was a few “Crossplayers” around too, but then tended not to really try with makeup and figure and so on, they where lads in dresses/uniforms/etc, didn’t really see more than one or two really trying to present as female.

Do another tour of the show floor, and the outside, better get my moneys worth, and just as I’m giving up, I spot Mary-Ann, She’d been up to 4am working on her home made Rapunzel costume and had to have a lie in. Say hi and we take some photo’s, lovely to see you again.

Ok, one last little look around the show, I’m flagging now, but I spot something I want to buy. A Samurai sword, specifically a Katana, there where 2 or three stalls selling replica weapons at the show, so plenty of choice. Find one quite cheap with a metal blade (a lot where wooden) that looks the part and hand over £35 for it, just cause its pretty and well I just wanted one. But it’s not perfect, it’s got a straight blade, not a curved one, oh well, the really good ones went for 3 figures anyway. Stall guy seals it in a box and tells me not to open it till I get home, I comply, technically, even though it’s a blunt as butter knife and would break if you actually hit anything with it, its an offensive weapon and the police take a dim view to those. Guy on the stall calls me Sir I really do look like shit.

Hot and tired now, its gone 4, have a bottle of cider at one Excel’s bar’s, its nice but there’s nowhere to sit. Cider doesn’t help much, yeah, its time to go. Go collect my bag from the cloakroom and change into my get me home outfit in the loo and head towards the DLR station. Feel a little different now, very very ordinary.

Have another cool drink in a bar near the station, sort out photo’s on the camera, then jump on the train, then tube, then bus, then shop, then home.

Phew, knackered, dunno why, long day on my feet I guess, have an early night.

Sunday wasn’t really worth writing about.

Monday, oh, it’s a Bank Holiday, how did that happen? It sort of snuck up on me, have no real plans to go out, rain was forecast all day and had domestic chores to do, but had a half hearted idea to do a photo shoot with that new sword and some of my latex clothing, was sure that was going to happen, the Meh was pretty strong. But I sort of went through the motions anyway, bathed/shaved, tidied up the kitchen and charged batteries, did my laundry, put makeup on, but still wasn’t sure if I could arsed.

Guess I got some motivation then. I idea was a sort of superhero/comic/sci fi hero (or possibly villain) look, the chosen outfit was separate latex top and leggings, with a PVC corset, collar, gloves and boots. But clad head to foot in skin tight latex, crushed by the corset and tottering on 6″ heels I could barely walk , never mind be a superhero. Used blue gels on my 2 SB600’s to illuminate the background, I’d got a pair of these flash bender things that attach allow you to shape the light coming off them a bit, with them I found I could light up the back ground and highlight my latex, but keep unflattering blue light off my face. Quite like the result, but I have to admit to photoshopping my face a bit (hey this is a fantasy pic OK), covering up the lumps and wrinkles. I have to say I rather liked the look and feel of the outfit though, even with its massive impracticalities, only let down is its 2 piece, I’m just going to bite the bullet and get a made to measure catsuit this year, but after I’ve managed to do a bit more work on my gut with the bike and Liberation have their next sale. Think I’m getting a bit of a latex fetish…

I’m “glowing” like a pig when I take the latex off, clean up and have a little dinner.

Do another outfit? Erm OK. This was the body suit, the one that’s not really practical to wear at all cause nasty things can fall out, but sort of suits the image I was going for Paired it with some latex stockings. To cover up my bare skin I cut down a pair of tights to just above the knee and wore them underneath, cause I didn’t think I could get the stockings on over tights - they need a little lubrication to get them on. Also add the PVC collar, the rock star shoes, the latex corset and some latex gloves, feels a lot, but surprisingly there’s a lot more freedom of movement in this outfits, the latex corset has a lot more “give” at the top and bottom, even though its fully done up. Experiment with red gels on the lights, don’t like, try green, hrm works better and get the G36 airsoft out as an extra accessory.

Hrm not bad, think I preferred the first on though. Again a bit of shop on that one to make sure the face is OK, the background is smooth and there’s nothing unsightly showing at the crotch.

Back to work on Tuesday, mange to get the bike out a few times, the ride home should be getting easier by now, but it isn’t, wind always seeming to be a head wind doesn’t help. But then again, on a bike, it seems like it’s always up hill and into the wind.

Weekend rolls around again, face had started turning very nasty again, there’s a lot of regrowth and some of those regrowing hairs started in growing and I had to dig them out and all sort of yuk, dam. Scrape it off and plaster it up with slap as best I can before changing into sort of miss matched casuals, cardi, teeshirt, denim mini, cropped leggings and flats, oh and a little hat, forecast said it would be windy. Why, to go to the seaside of course

Saffy’s partner Tracy had invited me (and several others) down to Hastings to play crazy golf to celebrate her birthday, which was, erm unusual, but interesting, so I said I would come.

Leave flat in plenty of time, wander to the tube in the sunshine and find the tube is closed for maintenance, oh. Ah there’s the bus, run, catch it.

Bus to the west end, have a little wander around Forbidden planet and pick up an older Walter Jon Williams book I hadn’t read, then continue through Covent Garden to Charing Cross, picking up a sarnie and stuff on the way for the trip.

Train ride to Hastings was quite pleasant really, train rattles through country side at a pace, there’s plenty of seats, its sunny and I have a book, some tunes, a sandwich and a little mini bottle of wine for company. Only way to travel Saying that I’m still a little nervous about going to Hastings, specifically because of her, its her home town as well. She was also invited to the golf as well, um…

Text Saffy as I approach Battle as she said she might be able to pick me up from there. She can, so off at Battle. Funny little place, a village that’s sort of grow around the 1066 battle field, its actually a few miles outside Hastings, but since there wasn’t that much there nearly a thousand years ago, the battle got named after Hastings cause it was the nearest town.

Saffy turns, up, hello hun, long time no see She takes me back to here place, Tracy’s out and we have to wait for a couple more people, so have a chat and throw things for her cats to chase. Louise turns up, Hi Lou, again long time no see, and Tracy returns from town, Hi, and there friend Dave and his wife find us too. So that’s all of us I think, 6 in all, more where invited, but couldn’t make it.

Plan was to get a drink at a pub in town, so we all pile out into cars, its Tracy’s birthday, so Saffy drives, as we pile into the car, Saffy notices something on the passenger seat, (where I’d been sitting earlier), her Motorbike key, she’d been looking for it for ages, perhaps my fat arse dislodged it from somewhere Saff couldn’t figure out how the keys got in this car, but was very happy she had found them.

Hastings is Sunny and Breezy, as we get closer to the centre find I’m recognising streets and places, even though I haven’t been hear for years, my memory is funny like that, sometimes it’s absolutely hopeless, especially when it comes to names, sometimes, especially when it comes to places, its almost photographic.

We park in a multi-storey, and head to the pub, it’s a Weatherspoons, erm, cheap yes, erm other stuff, er no, oh well, Tracy’s choice. I feel a bit bad about not getting her a card and a present, so I buy the group a bottle of bubbly. Moet, oh well, if I must (actually think it’s a bit acidic), pub can’t find 6 clean champagne glasses, as I said, erm other stuff, er no. They say they liked it, but drink pints as well, so most of the fizz goes down my throat, oh well, how we suffer Do feel a little out of place in the pub, but none of the locals make a fuss.

Right lets play golf, the place is on the sunny, and breezy seafront, we have a choice too, putting, crazy golf, Adventure golf or Pirate golf. Well it has to be Pirate golf doesn’t it

It’s fun and a bit silly, get a shock when the pirate ships start blasting water around. I can’t play ball games (or any sport really), but get lucky once or twice so my score wasn’t totally embarrassing, I think, but no holes in one, unlike Tracy, who got two and a free game and Dave who got one, gratz :).

By the end of the round I’m feeling a little cooked, who wants an ice cream ?

We head into the old town to get a drink. Am starting to get one or two “looks” from the locals, my hair is mess and my makeup fading, but no one makes a scene. We end up in a very old looking pub, The Pump House? and have a cold drink, phew, nice So what next, food, yes food, Tracy’s choice though and Tracy wants curry. She’d already had a curry at the Weatherspoons, but it’s her birthday and she wants another one

First curry house we try is all booked up, so we find another and chat over beer (well Tracy’s drinking pints, so I can :P) popadums and curry. Time has flown, well that’s what happens when you have fun, yes I’m hot, tired, slightly tidily and look a bit rough, but happy, and so is everyone else (apart from the looking rough and being tidily bit). Great day everyone, thanks for the invite, what are we doing next time?

Its around half 9 when we leave the restaurant, the rest are heading back to Saffy and Tracy’s place, but I had to get a train, last one back to London is 10:10, I think I know the way, but the gang escort me most of the way, guess I looked a bit to wobbly.

Station, well there’s the 10:10 train which goes back to Charing cross, or there’s a 9:45 to Victoria, which is on the platform now, take that. Ticket inspector calls me Darling.

Train back home is less nice, slow and dark and has a loud Saturday night crowd on it. It sits outside of Victoria for 15 minutes before a platform comes free too it’s nearly midnight when we get in.

Victoria station is surprisingly busy for midnight and there are shops still open, good, I need some water.

I would have taken the tube home, but it ain’t running is it, so bus. Hey there’s the bus, run, again. Bus doesn’t get me all the way home, have to change at angel, and run for yet another bus that gets me home.

Sunday, again, another non event.

Weather turns nasty during the week, rain rain rain, don’t get the bike out, I don’t like getting wet and the brakes don’t work very well in damp conditions anyway.

Have plans for Friday night, so have a afternoon off, it was short notice, but boss doesn’t complain. Go shopping on the way home, pick up a 2nd hand Nikon 85 1.4D lens, I’d had my eye on one for a bit, it’s a very well regarded sharp lens with a solid metal pro build, plus it opens another stop wider and reaches a little longer than my 50. Its my new “gig” lens. Also pick up a book and a couple of new PC games as I’d finally got to max level (yeah I’m slow) on Call of Duty and wanted something new.

One of the games was Duke Nukem Forever, the 4th Duke Nukem game, over 12 years in the making! Seriously, I remember playing Duke 3D (the previous game) the old 2.5 D sprite/raycaster based one on work 486’s in the late 90’s. It was a lot of fun back then, but times (and me) have changed, now it’s just a nostalgia trip really (and an excuse to blow stuff up).

Home, right, lets get changed. Face had gotten worse over the week, in growing hairs had been dug out but the holes they left hadn’t healed, and a big lump had formed on Monday that hadn’t quite gone down yet. I look even more shit, I hate my face. I’m beginning to doubt the laser is worth it, it might be just making things worse

Mange to cover up the mess with lots of powder and change into a pink tee shirt, black denim mini, black leatherette jacket, black tights and grey ankle boots, going for a sort of Rock Chick look. Which I hoped would work, since it was going to be a Rock night

The Rock in question was the “Pink Punk’s tea party” in Tufnell park organised by a fanzine called bubblegum slut. Not exactly sure it was my sort of thing, but Kiria and the Priscilla’s where on the bill and they where great at the 100 club in Feb, so it couldn’t be to bad. Plus it was cheap and only a bus ride away. Was also hoping some people I knew might turn up, Andie had originally said she was going, but forgot about it and made plans to go to BNO instead. Oh well.

Pack bag with big camera and new lens and a brolly and head out. The music was due to start quite early, so had to out the house by 7:30. Its still light then, that’s weird, feel self conscious again in my mini skirt. Its technical one bus ride to Tufnell park, but that bus is fairly uncommon, so jump on the first bus heading to Finsbury park, I can change there. Could of waited, but that self consciousness made me not want to stand around on a street corner.

Why do I keep feeling self conscious when I go out, It’s bad when I wear something silly, but still get it when I dressed down. I’ve been out 100’s of times now, and my local neighbourhood must be well used to me by now, hell I don’t even get that much stick these days, but it still unnerves me. Why? answers on a post card.

Ok which bus stop at Finsbury Park to get me to Tufnell park. There’s a bunch of British Transport Police around with a little stall doing some sort of promotion/community work, as I try a read the notice board to find my bus stop a police woman working the stall thing asks where I’m going. I say Tufnell Park, she confers with a college and directs me to the stop. Which was very nice. It would have been better if it was the right stop though; it was for the correct bus, but was the one for going in the other direction, back home. Find the right bus stop myself.

Tufnell park, and there’s the Boston Arms pub, assume the Boston music rooms are inside, downstairs or out back or something, so walk in. Look around in the pub, can’t see any signs, and Oh, it’s a bit an Irish old geezer pub, not really my sort of place, I turn a few heads (the wrong type of head turning I guess), oops. In the end ask a barmaid where the music rooms are. Next door she says. And it is, with a clear sign saying “Boston Music Rooms” above it. Doh!

Sharon, Kiria’s guitarist is having a cig outside as I pass, say hi and pop in. I’m early so they still have goodie bags to hand out, mines got about 3 cd’s in it, a couple of post cards and what turns out to be a very tiny red “Priscilla’s” vest top (am surprised I can get into it)

The music rooms turn out to be one quite big room, some seats, a little stage, a bar, wooden floor, bit basic and rough around the edges, but that sort of suits. Warm though, no AC, have to take the jacket off in the end and bare my arms, not a look that suits me. It’s a bit empty to, not that many have turned up, hope it would fill up a bit later (it did a bit). Get a drink (J&D coke - £3.10, not bad) and wander around till the music starts. Am noticed a few times, the men kept their distance a bit, but I got quite a few of those knowing sly looks and little smiles from the girls.

The blurb for the night encourage people to dress up and wear silly hats, the girl taking the money was dressed as Alice, Kiria was the white rabit and and a few people wore hats. But not many, I could of gone as Alice (already have the outfit), but felt the rock chick look was more appropriate.

First band I see is an acoustic Duo Soho Cobra’s, apparently there part of a larger band but they where just doing this little acoustic thing tonight. They are good, the girl can sing and the boy can play (er names?).

No sure she liked having her photo taken though. Stage lights when down and red through most of the set, so even big camera and big lens struggled to get any good shots.

Next up are Pussycat and the Dirty Johnsons, the youngest and most rawkus of the nights acts, if you want to label them I guess punk would be the nearest thing, but maybe not quite so serious and angry, they knew how to have a little fun. They had a few technical difficulties, but they got through them with a bit of humour. Enjoyed the set a lot and bought a CD from them afterwards.

They had quite a good image too, esp the front woman pussycat. Better light meant better pics, most where shot wide open, F1.4-1.8 and still managed to be quite sharp, new lens is impressive.

Kiria is up next, feel a bit stalkerish, this is the 4th time I’ve seen them play..

Kiria is her usual subtle, softly spoken and demure self that plus the lights meant good pics. But as usual comes on the number of camera’s that come out trebles, as does the number of blokes in the front row.

Last act of the night was the Priscilla’s, 2nd time I’d seen them, and now since I have there last album I can sing along a bit, I want to do the Oohhhh’s for them Try to dance a little too, but not many else are trying, ah common London audiences, live a little .

Again, good light, plus great performance equals good pics. Enjoyed that.

Overall a pretty good night, esp since it was local, cheap and not to late, don’t think it will reoccur though, this was the farewell gig for the fanzine bubblegum slut that organised it.

Music finishes at about 11:30, so time to head home, someone has graffitied the no drinks outside sign read no drunks outside, raises a smile. As I leave, say thanks to Sharon and Guri from the Priscillas who are having a smoke outside and head towards home. It’s raining heavily, but have a little brolly with me, which is nice, but stops me popping across the road to the chicken shop to get chips can’t carry them, eat and hold a brolly at the same time.

Bus stop has a shelter and a readout, bus will be 15 minutes, oh well, at least it’s coming. Get back to my neck of the woods, rain has stopped and the local kebab shop is still open (it usually shuts around midnight), hey now I can have chips get a rather large potion of fat and carbs and head home.

Lie in a little longer than I should of on Saturday morning. Saturday was the day of the TV Chix picnic in Hyde park, and unlike the previous year, the weather looked good. I’d bought some supplies during the week, had some nice soft blue cheese, smoked salmon, fancy bread and lime juice for sarnies (I know you are supposed to put lemon juice and black pepper on smoked salmon, but I couldn’t find any, the lime turned out nice anyway), some low fat snacks, couple of bottles of wine and some eggs, milk and mix to make chocolate muffins.

By the time I’d bathed/saved (face still a mess ) figured what to wear (jeans, vest , shirt, nothing exciting), made sarnies, found all my picnic stuff and put my face on it was really to late to do any baking oh well, if it was like last year there would be more than enough cake at the picnic for everyone anyway.

Packup stuff in big bags and trot down to the tube in the sunshine and wind. Piccadilly line is packed, but make it to South Ken with only a couple of looks. They are repaving exhibition road with some sort of bricks, the place is a building site, but we get through and here’s Hyde park. So will the chixsters actually turn up, or found another tree like last year? Nope there they are, Hi

Set up my blanked and cushions (am much better prepared this year) and start on the wine and sandwiches, NOM its well past my lunch time, so I’m starving, try to make some polite conversation in between mouthfuls and share the wine so I don’t drink all of it myself. There’s a few people I recognise (not sure all recognise me though), Andie, Hazel, Missy K, Kimberly, Jessica Wabbit, Saffy and quite a few I don’t, think about 20 turned up in all, dressed, drab, pre op, post op, friends, partners, kids and a fairly bold squirrel.

And our univited guest… 

It’s a very pleasant and civilised afternoon, much wine is drunk, cakes and pie is eaten (thanks Andie and Hazel) and lots of chin-wagging (but mostly by other people), should of really made more of an effort to circulate. Think everyone enjoyed it as much as me, there’s talk of it being an annual event.

About half 6 most of the wine has gone, clouds are rolling in and people are beginning to move, pack up and head back towards to tube with Anid, Saffy and, I think, Misha? Say bye to Saff as she had to go and get her car ,but share a tube with the others for a bit.

Back home, via shop, pick up some bread and beer, needed the bread but not sure why I got the beer, get home, clean up and fall asleep. I knew that was going to happen, I did share some wine, but most of it went in me.

Wake up around midnight, bah, can’t get back to sleep again, so read to 3am to try and get back to sleep. Don’t get up again till Sunday lunch time. Sunday was mostly spent sorting out pictures and playing Duke Nukem.

This week, laser time again :(. Damage upon damage, won’t be going out for a bit after that.

Wombling free…. 

Bi weekly catchup, going back 2 and a bit weeks, work is dull, but the weather is good, got the bike out 3 times and put at least 75 miles on it, mostly trying to figure out new routes home from work that didn’t involve massive hills. Only managed to find different massive hills or long detours, oh well, it gets me fitter. Got home on Friday after a long ride, had a beer or 2 and some dinner and felt rather good, hey lets go out again, cycle into town, go see a film or something. I was asleep half an hour later, fatigue snuck up on me when I wasn’t looking.

Weekend, had plans for the evening and day time. Daytime was in Ian mode though, there was a reason for this. I’d popped into the PC shop midweek to try and find out what’s happening to my PC. I was waiting 4 weeks for some memory which had to be sent back to the manufacturer. But now, apparently, that kind of memory is no longer available, erm so why did I have to wait so long? So the shop said they would put in something else, something slightly faster, free of charge and I could pick up the PC on Saturday. Hence the Ian mode, its bloody heavy (huge tower case etc) and Helena doesn’t do sweaty lifting, and all the PC documentation are in his name anyway.

Wandered into town wandering around a few shops before visiting the PC place. PC is ready, but there’s a gotcha, it won’t overclock anymore, processor is a bit fried (It was bought as an guaranteed overclocked system). Bugger. It runs find at normal speed though. Apparently. This set off warning bells, its got a monster water cooler on it and the case temp never tops 30 degrees, if it can’t over clock even a little with all that then its not well, a hot summer could see it cook itself  if it gets too warm. I don’t want my PC breaking again in a few months, so I bit the bullet and shelled out for a new processor as well. Same model as before (AMG x64 Phenom II quad core), but clocked to 3.2gh (old one was a 2.8 over clocked to 3.6), I’ll leave the new one at base clock speed for safety, it will be a touch slower, but should be reliable. But it’s another £76 quid And I might just be being paranoid.

But since I usually break hardware, I leave the shop to fit the cpu and test it. But this will take till Monday bugger. No PC this weekend either,

Walk home a bit dejected, eat lunch in a pub and get some supplies from the supermarket on the way. Must of walked 8 miles in all.

But the evening was still go, it’s the Magic Theatre again, and I was determined to go. Bathe and fully defuzz and get into the outfit. Chosen outfit was this one with the addition of some PVC fingerless gloves tht match the shrug I had to order from the states and calf length PVC boots instead of the thigh length ones, as I’d worn the thigh length ones the week before. Got it all on, and done the full going out face, hrmm looks OK, but there’s not point doing another photoshoot, instead fit the camera with the 35 f2 lens and the flashgun on a TTL cord ready for club shooting.

Right so how am I going to get this rather impractical and warm outfit to South London then? Changed into flat shoes, those boots will kill me after a couple of hours, put the more complex accessories and the shrug in the rucksack and cover the rest with a thin coat. The coat is just long enough to cover the skirt and stocking tops. And how to actually get there now I’m slightly less ridiculous looking, ah, new London Overground link to the rescue, it seems I can now get a direct train from a local station all the way to Brockley, which is half a mile away from the Rivoli ballroom, and hey the next station Honour Oak Park is slightly nearer still, good Right el cheapo here is taking the overground.

Head towards the station sort of on schedule, feel a little obvious in the curly blonde hair, heavy makeup and showing stocking clad leg esp as its still daylight (The Magic Theatre starts and ends quite early, so daylight it has to be), but no one seems to take offense. Slight confusion at the station on which platform to use, signs to Whitechapel don’t help, but eventually find the right one, and find the train had just left. Dam, have to wait till the next one, still feeling rather obvious.

Another train arrives, find seat right at the back and wait for it to get going. Train is mostly empty at this time of night, loads of seats are available, but what does this older man do, walk right down to the end of the train and sit in seat opposite me. That made me even more uncomfortable, why did he have to do that, and is he forgotten his glasses and has mistaken me for a GG? an Admirer? Just lonely? or just likes making people feel uncomfortable Git. . I find a newspaper on a seat next to me and try to bury my head in it.

Train moves off. Git gets of after 2 stops, phew. But the train fills up a bit and a chavy young man gets on, sits near me and proceeds to have a long noisy angry phone call about being “ripped off” for about £2 on his oyster. Keep my head in the paper, don’t want him to notice me, he wasn’t in a good mood to start with. He gets of 2 stops before mine.

Ok we are hear, not the most relaxing journey ever way it. So which way to the Rivoli Ballroom then? Ah that way, there’s a handy signpost to Crofton Park station, which the Rivoli is directly opposite from, get walking.

There’s a bit of a queue outside the ballroom when I get there, but we get in eventually. Pay full price for my ticket, I used to get in free, as a photographer, but since its so long since I’d been here, thought it wouldn’t be right to try and blag a free ticket this time. After paying, pop into the powder room to get into the full outfit.

Am feeling rather warm already as I queue for that important first drink. Get my J&D coke, have prices gone up? It’s like regular pub prices now. Oh well, I don’t come here to get pissed anyway, instead take my drink out into the ballroom and look for familiar faces. Had already said Hi to Penny and Philippa in the powder room and find Lucy (and her friend called, erm, sorry), Claire, Frances and  MMM and one or two other vague acquaintances about, so fewer people I know that before. But not fewer people over all, no the ballroom is filling up nicely, it could be a busy night. 

Spend the next hour or so drinking, dancing, posing (Outift gets a few compliments and a couple of cameras are pointed my way, tart ), chatting a little and getting rather warm. This wasn’t a good choice for a warm spring evening in a non air conditioned building. Place fills up, you can tell its busy night at the MT when the bar queue extends to the dance floor, they really should open the 2dnd bar more often. Cabaret comes on, and I don’t have my camera out, dam. We get some dancers (missed them , was in the drinks queue), a comedy magician and a singer. During the singers set I felt I better get the hardware out.

Snap away at interesting looking punters, friends and acquaintances and the live band that’s come on.

Snap away a bit more

Oh and a few more

Oh an manged to get someone to snap me

And there was this mirror

(I like that one, colours and contrast is good)

I do like taking pics, and keeps me busy and I get to talk to people a little, but its also quite hard work in corset and five and a half inch heels. Getting very warm by now too. Phew. Miss dancing to the band to. The band are the “Lounge Swingers” who do retro swing versions of modern hits, they’re quite good, was to busy taking pics to really follow them though.

It was getting to about midnight I’d had enough of the heavy camera, and really really had enough of those boots, ouch. Girl in the cloak room winces when she see how high they are. Had kitten heels with me as I knew I wouldn’t manage the night in the boots, getting into them was a relief, phew. Do get a little friendly Mickey taking for wimping out on the heels though.

Spend the rest of the evening dancing, having another drink or two (lemonade to cool down) and having a few non smoking breaks outside in the cool night air.

It’s about quarter to one when I decided it was time to go, well I can beat the clock room rush. Get bags and remove underskirt, stockings (had thing flesh tone tights on underneath , shrug  and gloves, all go in the bag and pop on a little cardi over the my shoulders for modesty (and I don’t want anyone to see my back).

Right ready to go, oh just one last trip to the dance floor, go on then, hey La Bamba is playing, I love that track, go crazy dancing for one last time.

Right really time to go then, had a cheepo plan to get home, the night bus from here goes all the way to West end, and from there I can get another night bus all the way home. All for a couple of quid, which would be a big saving over a mini cab all the way home (and way way less than a local hotel room). But as I’m heading to the bus stop, a big red bus passes me, ah, oh, that’s the bus I want , dam and at this time of night there’s only 2 per hour.

I didn’t want to wait at a bus stop for half an hour Ah but there’s the after party at the wine bar across the street isn’t there, I can wait it out there in comfort. Run into Lucy and her friend at this point, they where  heading to the after party too, so we go together.

The Wine bar is quiet when we arrive, we beat the MT rush and get a table and a nice glass of wine and a quiet little chat. The mob from the MT descends tend minutes later and the place is packed out.

Stay for half an hour or so, before I guess its time to look for another bus, say bye to Lucy and co and head towards the bus stop. Hey there’s the bus, run, make it this time, phew. No waiting

Bus trundles across south London, picking late night revellers along the way, again I feel a little obvious, but thankfully people leave me alone. Jump off in New Oxford street, opposite the bus stop for my bus home. Lightning strikes twice, there’s the bus home, run, get to the bus as he’s just about to pull away and tap on the door. Driver glares at me and pulls away, without me. Bastard. Lightning doesn’t strikes twice.

Next bus home is ages away, dam, so end up jumping on one that will get me four fifths of the way. I can walk the rest. Spot bold urban fox on the walk back, but it’s gone before I can get the camera out, worth missing the bus for? Probably, I like foxes.

Another advantage of walking is that the route goes past still open Kebab shops. Stop for chips and Pitta, guy in the shop must of felt sorry for me, get a huge portion, freshly cooked. Can’t eat all of them (still have the corset on) but they where a bit overdone anyway.

Home, clean up, bed 3ish

Sunday, can’t get out bed till gone 11, feel exhausted, worse than normal for a club night, should of done some laundry and stuff but can’t face it. Eat a bit, read a bit, drink a bit, watch Doctor who, go to bed at 9:30pm, having done virtually nothing all day.

Monday, oh gawd, so tired, I can’t get out of bed till 11, dunno why, its like somebody has pulled the batteries out. Email work saying I’m not coming in. Dunno exactly whats wrong, still tired from the club? general fatigue, a virus? just can’t face work? Probably all of the above. PC shop calls around 11 saying my box is ready. Suppose I better go and get it, dress and bus to town, get a sushi lunch on the way. Construct duct tap handle and lug the box home. Getting the thing home is slightly easier than getting it there, due to the positioning of the bus stops, but by the time I’ve got it up to my 2nd floor flat I’m drenched in sweat and quite exhausted

And then the bloody thing won’t power up Problem is traced to the power switch, give it a little prodding and it works again, phew. PC, please don’t break down again, well not for a couple of years any way. Seriously considering getting a laptop next time, just cause it will be easier to carry.

Spend some time processing photo’s, it’s a fairly monotonous job, but doesn’t require any more effort than clicking the mouse.  Here’s a few of them.

Have another early night. Felt almost as bad in Tuesday and cry off work again, instead finish the photo processing and have yet another early night. Manage, just, to get in on Wednesday and am feeling well enough on Friday to Cycle. Even faced the big hill on the ride home, managing to do the trip in 1 hour 30.

Another weekend, weee :)  So what are we going to do, there was several options for the evening, the Bizarre Ball, Prom Night, Gypsy Hotel, but I’d found another thing in Camden called Labyrinth in Camden, which looked interesting, live bands and Burlesque, dressy uppy too. I decided I would go to that one, something new.

But what about the day time, shopping? Dunno, there’s nothing I really need right now, summer fashions don’t do a lot for me, all too skimpy. Hrm. Do I even bother doing  Helena mode? Bathed/saved and thought about it. Then I experimented with makeup, trying for the absolute minimum I could get away with. Then, well since I have makeup on, I might as well go out in Helena mode. Found some jeans, a tee shirt, a baggy shirt and some flats to wear, all simple comfortable mismatched casuals, Saturday morning wear.

Well I’m dressed now, so erm better go out I guess. I’d already planned my evening outfit, a rather tarty ensemble with a leatherish mini skirt and a leopard skin top, but the top was off the shoulder and I couldn’t find a black bra with nice straps and a D cup (going for the larger forms, as I said, “tarty” look) in my lingerie collection, so buy another one? Yeah why not.

Wandered off to Dalston in the sunshine and wind, did a round of the shops and found a suitable bra in Matalan, also picked up a long black “Boyfriend” cardi as well. So what next, well lunch of course, but where? Not here, Camden, I think, well I had to go and find this club I was going to tonight, so might as well get the train to Camden, find it, then have lunch.

Train (the overground again) is busy, but I seemed to be relatively anonymous. Off at Kentish Town West, cause the map says its nearer to the venue. It is, only 5 minute walk. Venue doesn’t look much though, a bit of a geezer pub if you ask me, so carry on to Camden proper and get a sandwich and a glass of wine in the Enterprise.

My feet are killing me by now, which shouldn’t happen in flats, but it seems these new ones don’t like the back of my heels, they had been rubbing them raw and now they where bleeding a bit Dam, pop into the little Sainsburys and find some plasters to put on my heels to save them.

After lunch trawl of my usual Camden haunts, nothing grabs, of if it does, it wouldn’t fit. Oh well. Wasn’t really in the shopping mood anyway. Am getting near the tube station, thinking about either getting that or the bus home when I remembered Idid  manage to do some shopping, its in that Matalan carrier bag. Er where’s the Matalan carrier bag, oh shit! Not again. I’ve gone and lost my shopping again:(

Think to where I had the bag last, must be the Enterprise, so walk back the length of Camden to the pub. Carrier bag is still sitting on the table where I left it. Doh. Get overground back home.

Still have a bit of time before the club, so clean up a bit (it was a warm day), charge batteries, redo face much heavier, change hair and get into my club clothes. Time for a photo shoot.

Put those boots on just for the shoot, 6″ heel, 2″ platform is only really suitable for fetish clubs (and then only for a couple of hours), change into slightly more sensible 2.5″ ones before going out. Notice tights have a little ladder on the back, oh dam, it won’t show, but after a bio break I pulled them up again, and put my finger nail through them, massive hole and ladder on the thighs, right off Tights less than 30 Denier are  almost single use items with butter fingers here. Try and find another similar pair, but time is getting on, find one pair close enough, they will do. Cover tarty top with new long cardi and head out.

Cardi doesn’t cover tarty skirt unfortunately , so have the usual “I look so obviously tranny” thoughts as I head to the station in the twilight. But again, no hassle and I get to the club around 9. Found I’ve laddered the other tights as well

Tis a bit small isn’t it, and warm. Check face and brush hair in loo, get a drink and wait for the night to start.

The burlesque comes on first (later found out I’d actually missed the first band), hosted by Kitten Von Strumpet (seen her perform at Corset and Diamonds) , we get turns from Emerald Fontaine, Duchess Divine & Bettie Blush, V.J. Spankie (seen her beforea couple of times) and Bruise Violet (Probably the best one of the night). To be honest, its not the best Burlesque I’ve ever seen, good burlesque can be poignant, satirical, creative, funny and/or just downright sexy, but at the other end of the scale it’s a fat girl removing a couple of items of clothing. This was slightly more the other end of the scale. Sorry that’s a bit mean isn’t it, I couldn’t get up and do that

Tired to get a few pics, I had big camera and the 50 f1.8 on it, the crowd was rather thick around the stage area and there was rather a few large DSLR’s already being pointed a the girls (Burlesque does seem to drawn them out, wonder why ), I didn’t want to be pushy, so stayed a bit back. Also didn’t have a flash gun with me and the light was a bit dark, so shutter was to slow and ISO to high, pictures are not the best, sorry.

Saying that I reckon a flashgun would of washed out the stage lighting, loosing some of the atmosphere. There’s a few breaks between acts, spend them getting drinks, cooling off outside (the pub got a bit to warm) and just hanging around checking my phone and camera, didn’t try to socialise :(. During the breaks there was a DJ on, actually playing a lot of stuff I like, but no one was dancing.

The crowd was quite small really, and I reckon a lot where friends of the performers and bands, but in rather warm small pub it was enough. The blurb for the “event” (as it styled itself) did encourage dressing up and most of the girls (think there where more girls than boys actually) there did make an effort, but most of the men where just in jeans and tee shirts. Think several of the men where local geezers who simply had been in the pub all day anyway. There was even another t-girl there, in a skimpy LBD, she was younger and prettier than me and seemed to know a lot of people there, was to shy to approach her.

As well as the Burlesque, there was the bands, first as “Subsource” a “A full frontal dub metal cyberpunk riot”, they lived up to their description, high energy stuff, they really went for it. Rather enjoyed that assault on the ear drums, not 100% to my taste, but still worth seeing. People (inc me) where dancing by the end of the set. Far fewer (wonder why, something to do with the lack of clothing removal?)  camera’s where being pointed a the band, so I could get in a little closer and get better shots.

2nd band I saw where “Bad Pollyanna” all the way from Huddersfield, slightly more indie rock than Subsource and a bit prettier Crowd had thinned out a bit by the time they where on, but that didn’t dismay them, they played there hearts out. Enjoyed them as well, but sat down for half the set, heels where getting to me by then.

And that was it, all done by about midnight. Odd night really, it seemed like two different club nights overlapping in the same venue, one with loud alternative rock bands turned up to 11, the other with slightly kitsch Burlesque, even the compare for the night only actually introduced the Burlesque. The two parts didn’t really fit. I wouldn’t really call it an event either, just night and it was slightly over priced too. Perhaps I should of gone to one of the other nights instead? But then again, if you don’t try new places, you can’t find out if you like them or not. The organisers have said they’ve listened to some of the comments made, they are planning another Labyrinth night in September, I think, with more Burlesque acts and bands on that complement them (and they said the aircon would be working). Not sure I would go again though, esp if there was alternatives on that evening. Actually I kind of prefer the loud rock bands…

Put cardi on, pop into a chip shop opposite (Ohh proper fish shop chips and only a quid nice :)) than ponder on how to get home, its not that late, just gone midnight, but the overground had stopped, so bus I guess. There was a bus on that street that possible could take me near home, but there was no indicator board on the bus stop and I could of missed the last one, hrm. Better go to central Camden, I can get a more regular night bus there and there’s indicator boards..

But getting to central Camden involved walking down Chalk Farm road, which is full of pubs, resturants and clubs, in a tiny skirt, glossy tights and heels at midnight. Yikes. Put head down, walk quickly. There’s a lot of people about, on the pavement or standing outside the pubs smoking, people who are quite likely to be a bit drunk and so a bit less polite to a tranny. In the end, I think I only get one bit of stick I notice, a lad with his mate looks at me and smirks “Hellooooo” in a odd accent. Other T-girls have reported similar “funny” hello’s recently, its possible there’ some comedy act on TV or something they’ve copied it from.

The number 29 passes me just as I’m approaching the bus stop, run and catch it. It’s a packed bendy bus to Finsbury Park, have to stand for half the trip, but get a seat eventually (Heels are quite uncomfortable by now, need to sit). A drunk Irish lad announces to the bus he has no idea where he is and then turns to me and asks if I know where a particular pub is, tell him it’s not one I’ve heard of, so he moves on, wobbling down the bus.

Change at Finsbury Park, fortunately its not a long wait for my connection, and home, at last. Bed, quickly.

Sunday, eat, ready, wander around the west end a bit, go home. Sundays are dull.

Next week, am on call, but I might be able to escape for a bit on Saturday.
 

Another short week, as Monday was a bank holiday and I have Friday off. Yep another holiday, but I’m not on call for this one, for a change

Had a couple of nights out planned for the weekend and I wanted to sort of shift my body clock a to late nights and long lie ins, so stay in bed till 11 on Friday. I felt tired anyway. Have a long soapy bubble bath after I eventually crawl out of bed and then pop to the local for a cheese sandwich lunch and a read and then return home. Am so tired after all that excessive exertion and doze for another couple of hours. Dunno why, perhaps I am transforming into a cat. So basically I lazed away an entire day off. Oh well.

Right feeling refreshed now, things to do, sort out the flat a bit, charge up all my flash gun batteries and get ready for the evening, outfit was the stripy dress I got the previous week with padded bum and hips and the D cup forms to try and get some curves, almost opaque black tights and my red shoes (double strap courts with about a 3″ heel). Can I manage all night in these shoes, wasn’t sure, this was there first time out, decide I better pack some flats just in case.

Er where’s my other good black ballet flat gone? I can find one, so the other must be in the flat somewhere. But where is the other one? Can’t find it anywhere And these are the good leather pair that cost a packet and are really comfy. Damm. Find another pair of cheap white synthetic flats that go with the dress, pack them instead.

Makeup, night out, so go a little heavier and do eyeshadow etc, nasty lumpy bit on face is healing now I think, but still needs to be covered up though.

Right lets take some pictures, fiddle about with lights till I’m happy and take a few snaps. Which I would of published on flickr if it wasn’t for the fact my PC is still bloody broken

Pack up everything ready to go, travel in these shoes, yeah I suppose, they are quite walkable, pop on a little leather jacket over the dress, it could get cold. Pack brolly too, rain is forecast.

Bus to Angel, Tube to Bank. Rack brains to remember which exit to I had to take out of Bank, it’s a bit of a maze, but exit no. 8 looks familiar. As I’m walking out of bank station a youngish man passing by me says “Nice Shoes”, he didn’t sounds like he was taking the piss. He’s fairly averagely dressed in casuals, but has rather complex hair and looks a bit “alternative” hrmm, could he be going to the same place I am? Can’t think of anywhere else around here he could be going.

Walk the 5 minutes to the London Stone and here we are back in Bedsitland. Yeah it my favourite synthpop night again, relaunching at he London Stone pub. I think they have been struggling to fill larger venues, so have down sized a bit to just a pub. No live bands on either, the pubs a bit small for that

Ok the London Stone isn’t quite an average pub, it’s done out in a like a sort of gothic mad scientist’s lab. I’ve been here before for the Striplite nights, oh that was years a go wasn’t it.

There’s a small crowd gathered for the night when I got there (10ish), but nobody is dancing yet Queue up for the bar to get a drink. As I wait I get my arse patted, a bunch of beer’ed up chavy lads is standing next to me, one of them did it, after the pat he smirks “Geezer” loudly and they all laugh I show no reaction, but Damm not a great start to the night was it. Guess the lads are not here for Bedsitland, they don’t look like the type, I guess one of the problems of running a club night in a regular pub is that they can’t kick out the people who where already there. The aforementioned lads have probably been there all evening. I was worried they might cause more upset later, but none more was forthcoming and they eventually left.

Get my glass of wine and turn to see the young man with the complex hair, I was right, this is where he was heading. He recognises me to, we have a little chat, turns out he comes to Bedsitland fairly regularly and DJ’s a bit. Can’t remember his name though, only his hair and pac man tee shirt.

So no band and no dancing take my wine and find a sofa in a corner and read for a bit. Sitting down and reading, alone, on a club night, Sad. Can’t even get a good signal on the phone to surf the web. Very sad.

The place fills up a bit, some tunes I recognise come on and I’ve finished my wine, so get up for a look around. Ahh people are dancing now, good, go join in.

The night sort of then just sort of blurs a bit after that, a had a few more drinks, danced quite a bit, said Hi to a few people I vaguely knew who turned up (Nicky, Marko, Gary) and the man who runs the Prom Night club (erm, names). Also get complimented on my dress and shoes and have to help people find the loos (they are hidden behind faux bookcases, like secret passages, part of the gothic theme you see).

Oh, its 2am, time flies when you are dancing badly Think they carried on till 3 but I figured its time to go. Shoes had made there presence felt by now, so on with the flats and find my coat, bye bye bedsitland, next one is on July the 1st, my birthday, so I think that’s a must.

As some one else noted, the London Stone is easy to get to, but a pain to get home from, when the tubes shut you have to depend on some not very regular night buses. Wander round to the bus stop in the light drizzle, it’s not worth putting a brolly up, bus takes a while to turn up, but gets there eventually.

That bus doesn’t get me all the way home though, have to jump of at Highbury corner, its nearly 3 now but the Kebab shops are still open, chips and pitta it is then. Walk the longer, better lit, safer way home and clean up and crash.

Saturday, which feels like a Sunday cause I had Friday off, but sort of get with it eventually. Get out of bed 11ish again, figure tonight will be a very long night, you see its Torture Garden’s 20th birthday do and I have a ticket (I told you that last week didn’t I)

Right, what to do with the day. Have another look around for the missing ballet flat, but fail to find them. I could take months before it turns up and I certainly will need some get me home flats tonight, so what to do? Wear the white or gold ones I have? Nah they would look right, need black ones, keep searching, nah can’t be arsed, get another pair? Well a basic pair of synthetic ones aren’t expensive and reasonably easy to get in larger sizes, yeah why not, give me something to do. Where from, erm, New Look Marble Arch? Yeah there, if I can’t find any there’s Evans and Primark and all sorts of other places.

Since it’s a nice day and I need the exercise, I pop to Marble Arch on the bike, in Ian mode, still don’t think cycling in Helena mode would be a good idea.

New Look Marble Arch doesn’t have any in size 9 wides. Bugger. Where next? There’s other options, but New look ones do fit well, so decide to walk up to there other store. They do have 9’s and 8 wide’s, but no 9 wides. Eyeball them, hrm, eyeball says the 9 will fit, so get the 9’s. It would of made sense to try them on, but I can’t face trying them on in Ian mode in a busy store.

But as I’m going down the escalator down though the men’s wear section I have an idea, grab some bloke clothes and go to changing rooms, but in private try on the shoes instead. Worked, shoes fit nicely to, result.

Walk back to where I had my bike parked, avoiding the Oxford street crowds by going up through Mayfair. So is there anything else I need for tonight, well if I want to take photo’s and light the background, some flash barn doors would be useful, its hard to stop the light spilling on to me. But flashgun barn doors are a rather specialised item, not cheap and easy to find. Figure I could bodge something up instead, so stop in a stationary and get some card, velcro tabs and elastic bands.

Anything else? Hrm, some nice tights perhaps? I was going to wear latex with tights underneath, so wanted tights that didn’t have a big seam that would show. Find a nice pair of Wolfords in Selfridges. Feels it bit strange buying them in Ian mode, esp since its Ian “Bike” mode with a scruffy to big tee shirt and baggy shorts, but the shop staff don’t even blink.

Have a light lunch in a pub near Marble Arch, so what to do next, had a whole afternoon to play with. I supposed since I had the bike out, might as well ride it a bit, so went for a bit of a peddle. Went through Fitzrovia and Clerkenwell to Islington to get to the Regents canal. Follow that past Victoria park to the River Lee, and follow that up past the Olympic site up to Stoke Newington, then back home. Pleasant little ride and I so need the exercise.

Bathe/shave when I get in, well I was a little sweaty after the bike ride.

So what to wear tonight then, since I’d bough all this latex, I was determined to wear it, but which bits of latex? Try on a few things, the latex body with the latex leggings, PVC corset gloves and calf length boots was pretty awesome, but could I mange the whole night like that, completely covered, no, no way. Another idea was the latex bodysuit, corset and stockings, but that’s body suit is just so high cut its not really practical. End up with just the latex dress and PVC thigh boots, no corset. This was about the comfiest version, hip padding large breastforms under the dress gave me a few curves and the dress held my tummy in, so it didn’t look bad. Boots did have a 6″ heel (2″ platform), but I’ve done nights out in them before, so it should be OK, just.

But the latex had a problem. Heat, it had been a lovely warm day, and after trying that lot on I was covered in sweat. Damm. How am I going to manage all night? Supposed I would just have to manage somehow, but decided it would be best if I left the dress off till the last minute. So no photo shoot, not really necessary anyway, it was basically this without the corset. Want to try to have a latex shoot sometime soon though.

Time has been getting on anyway, clean up and makeup, try to do a smokey eye job. Figure the makeup will melt though, long hot night and all, so try some Makeup fixing spray I had. This didn’t appear to work the last time I used it, but it was worth a shot.

Have a bit of an extended faff around packing a rucksack and a tiny bag to use in the club. Figure I better take some ordinary clothes as well as the flats to get home in. Also had to find a light coat to cover up the dress on the journey there.

Use lots of deodorant, then cover self in talc and put dress on, check it looks OK with the thigh boots before packing them, then on with the coat, flats, rucksack, double check I’ve got my ticket (remembering the year before last) and let’s get going. Its 9 something by the time I’m out the flat, club started at 9, but probably won’t be busy until midnight, but I didn’t want to arrive too late though, queue’s etc.

Tube is very warm most people are in summer clothes and I’m in a latex dress and a coat And then there’s that guy asking all those questions.

But he wasn’t asking me questions, nope somebody else stood out more than me. A young man, possibly even a teenager was sitting near me on the Bakerloo line train, he had pale blonde hair, a fancy red synthetic leather jacket that I I’ve seen sale in the Camden Gothic Lolita place Sai Sai and a large wooden sword. Cosplayer, had to be (I didn’t recognise the character though, something out of Final Fantasy perhaps), guessed he’d been hanging out in Camden or at the Trocadero in the afternoon and was going home. He got noticed by a largish man in a white tee-shirt who kept asking him questions about his sword and stuff. Makes a change to not be the weirdest person on the tube.

Right here we are, Elephant and Castle, 9:40ish, It’s a bit of a maze to get out, and I end up at a different exit to the one I expected, so takes a moment to get my bearings in the dark. Walk in the direction I think the Coronet is in the fine drizzle (which after the heat of the tube, quite welcome), its quite busy on the street, even at this time of night, but nobody around appears to be “Alternative”. Usual thoughts of “OMG have I got the wrong night and or location pass though my mind, until I spot the woman in fetishwear standing outside the Coronet. I’m at the right place then Queue is non existent (saw it was a lot bigger latter), one advantage of turning up early.

Hand over ticket and pass through security. Security is tight, bag searches and a metal detector, guess it’s the area not Torture Garden per say that warrants this sort of security, and I think that metal detector will be pinging a lot tonight, because of outfits not weapons. It even pinged for me, can’t figure why (coat’s belt buckle?) , but I’m directed to a security person (a female one, which is erm, nicely respectful of my gender presentation) to be patted down. I undo my coat and mention the fact I can’t really conceal a lot in this skin rubber tight dress. She agrees, but says it’s just a procedure she has to follow. The pat down I get isn’t very thorough.

Right we are in, change into my boots and pop on a PVC collar in a corridor as couldn’t find the loo straightaway and put my bag in the cloakroom. Oh that’s where the loo is, sort out my hair a bit and pop on a little blot powder and head to the main bar for that important first drink.

Find somewhere to sit in the large bar areas, sip my gin and tonic and decide what to do with myself for the evening. Well better explore a bit and find out what’s here.

Here’s the layout as far as I remember, as you go in there’s stairs leading up, and corridors to the left and the right, both corridors lead to the main bar and main stage, the left one also has loos and an exit to the smoking area. The smoking area is sort of an alleyway off the main building, with a tarpaulin over some of it for rain protection, there’s a cloakroom out here to. From the smoking area there’s the dungeon, which is split over 2 rooms and an exit make to the make stage area again. Main stage has, funny enough, a big stage and a dance floor ( which was empty early on in the evening but much busier latter), and that leads back to the main bar. Main bar is pretty big, and there’s a fair bit of seating, this appears to be the central point club. Upstairs, there’s a room with another small stage, bar, video screen and DJ booth, and upstairs again was another smaller room with another small bar, loo’s, the photobooth (yes I got a picture taken, am still waiting for it to be emailed) and an exit to the balcony over the stage. This balcony area had lots of theatre (what a surprise) seats lined up in tiers and a large projector screen. There might have been other nooks and crannies but I didn’t find them.

Certainly an interesting venue for a club, lots of different spaces, but not exactly perfect, lots of stairs for a start, not great in heels, some of the stairs had ramps over them, even more dangerous in heels, but a few did have nice handy (it was dark and I might of missed then otherwise) beware of the step signs. Was a touch run down too, but I suppose you could say it was atmospheric

My biggest complaint though would be the lack of air conditioning, I could only find 2 working ones in the top floor area, outside there it was hot, 1000+ people (it got rather packed later on) and a warm night for the time of year just made it worse and me clad all in rubber and PVC the final biscuit, I was melting most of the night. I really envied the GG who could get away with wearing just a few scraps of lingerie.

My other main complaint was about the patrons, not the venue, as I said it got pretty packed and getting around could be slow at times, and this wasn’t helped by people using the bar as a dance floor, blocking exits, or having a chat/snog/impromptu S&M session in the narrow corridors. People using space badly in this over crowded city is another of my (far too many) pet hates. Also I think a couple of the venues security staff weren’t the friendliest. Another whinge, loo paper, I needed some later in the night for a call of nature, but all the stalls where out had to bribe a bog troll for some.

Ok that’s the negative, sorry. Good things, attitude, no worries from anyone there for the club and some of the outfits where amazing, I felt positively conservative at times. Music was varied, but I did have several dances, raved up version of Bohemian Rhapsody on the main dance floor was particularly fun. Also the sound on the main dance floor was pretty awesome, you could feel the base go right though you and there was lasers, I always like lasers. There was quite a bit on to, more than NYE, I caught the Urban Voodoo Machine set (well about half of it, need a sit down) and the fashion show. Drink prices weren’t cheap, but I’ve spent more (much more, hello Holdup Heroines) though later on in the evening getting served was a bit of a queue. The Erotic Cinema bit on the circle/balcony bit was interesting, all of it was very much vintage Erotica (40’s,50’s,60’s) and actually very tame by modern stands (Ok it was erotica, not porn), but it was interesting to watch the changes through the decades (Brightly lit smiley curvy 50’s pinups compared to serious kohl eye’d twiglets in dark 60’s clubs for instance) They didn’t have sound, but you got the music from the main dance floor, which although usually several decades away from the films, but it seemed to work. Another advantage of the “cinema” was plenty of seats, could rest my legs for a change. Though the steps down to the seats where rather steep and tricky to negotiate in 6″ heels, it was also quite far up too, vertigo was pinging a bit and I much preferred going down the side near the wall where I could hang on to a banister. Also they didn’t quite have enough films, so they repeated several.

Basically I spent my time flitting between rooms, having a drink, having a dance, watching a performance, people watching, having a sit down and rest, getting some air in the smoking area, and wandering around a bit more. Was disappointed I couldn’t find anybody I knew there though, so opportunities for conversation where rather limited. One or two tried, one man in the cinema turned to me and tried to start to talk (think he had noticed my legs stretched out over the seat in front), but then I think he realised I was TG and excused himself, others where a bit friendlier.

There was a fair bit of crossing dressing going on, usually men wearing odd bits like stockings, a few though where in rather complex latex creations with female masks, but only a handful where, IMHO, actually trying to present as female. Wonder why this sort of club isn’t that popular with the TG crowd, its perfectly safe and great excuse to really dress up.

Managed to last till 3:15, by then the heat and the heels where getting too much, I wanted my feet just to go numb after over 5 hours in those boots. Time to go, retrieved my bag from the cloakroom and got out of the boots and into the flats, ahh, relief. Do I put on the travelling clothes I bought, nah I can stick the dress a little longer, it will be cool outside, just covered it up with the coat. Check face in mirror, hrm, just a little powder required, eye makeup had stayed in place for a change, perhaps that fixing spray worked? Girl in the loo smiles at me and asks if she can borrow some of my powder to do her nose, I oblige.

Into the night, its drizzling a bit, but that was actually a quite nice, cooling. Head towards the bus stop, there’s a group of lads “hanging around” with cans in there hands, don’t think they where club patrons , one shouts “Man” as I pass, at, I assume, me. I do get more comments late at night, is this because I’m usually tired and stooping, my makeup is failing and/or the poor light shows up my flaws. Or is it just because the lads have enough beer inside them to make them brave enough to heckle someone bigger than them.

Ignore the lads and duck into a little kebab shop that’s still open. There might have been a couple of mutters from people in there, but the guy serving takes my money and gives me my chips and pitta without a problem.

Eat my chips in the bus shelter, there’s no timetable for the night bus and no indicator board, could be in for a bit of a wait I think. But 5 minutes after I finish my chips, the bus turns up

Roads are quite quiet and it gets me to Farringdon quite quickly where I could pick up another bus to get me home. Bus for home turns up in 5 minutes, wow. Getting home was painless for a change

Gone 4 when I get in though, out of the dress and tights and everything. Dress is soaked on the inside and the tights minging I’d been in them for about 7 hours though. Clean up and make myself some tea, check mail and read a little before finally turning in at 5

Sunday, long lie in, no hangover, but still tired. Should of done some laundry, but can’t be arsed, go to the pictures instead and watch 13 Assassins, it’s been ages since I’ve seen a samurai movie. Get home and have an early night, was only awake for about 11 hours.

Next week, I am going to the Magic Theatre this time, I really am. Honest, and I might even get my PC back to, wonders never cease.